Wait Until Dark, The Entity, Space Amoeba, Dark Places, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, and The Torture Chamber of Dr. Sadism
Weekly Horror Bulletin Issue #289
We’ve got a mixed bag this week, some really good films and some awful stinkers. That’s OK; we watch them, so you don’t have to. We’ll start off with the classic “Wait Until Dark” from 1967. then move on to the scary “The Entity” from 1982. We’ll take a fun break with “Space Amoeba” from 1970 and watch a short film as well. We’ll then move on to 1978’s “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes,” which really is as bad as you’ve heard. We’ll then watch a pair of old Christopher Lee films, “Dark Places” from 1973 and “The Torture Chamber of Dr. Sadism” from 1967.
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The Torture Chamber of Dr. Sadism (1967)
AKA “Blood Demon” and “The Snakepit and the Pendulum”
Directed by Harald Reinl
Written by Manfred R. Kohler, Edgar Allan Poe
Stars Lex Barker, Karin Dor, Christopher Lee
Run Time: 1 Hour, 24 Minutes
Watch it:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
This is loosely based on Edgar Allan Poe’s work, but it’s kind of a mishmash of The Pit and The Pendulum with living dead and weird science and dark magic. The music was somewhat mismatched for the seriousness sometimes and it was a little draggy at times, but overall, it was pretty good.
Spoilery Synopsis
A jailer, judge, and executioner walk into a cell where Count Regula has been found guilty of torturing and murdering people. He’s killed 12 people and is sentenced to be quartered. The count swears to destroy the judge, Roger Von Marienberg, and his entire family in retaliation. They put a mask of spikes on the count and lead him on the long walk outside as credits roll. Out in the village square, they tie his arms and legs to four horses and then whip the horses.
35 years later, people are still talking about the execution of the old count. Roger Mont Elise is a lawyer, and an old man gives him a letter from Count Frederic Regula, offering to tell him about his past. A woman related to the old baroness gets a letter as well.
Roger arrives in town and asks about Castle Andomai. People run away when he even says the name. He watches a religious procession to “drive out the man-eating monster in the valley.” That’s where Count Regula killed the twelve virgins and was quartered. Another old man warns him not to go, as Count Regula died 35 years ago.
Roger tells the old priest in the carriage that he doesn’t know who his parents were or where he was born. He’s going to the castle to find out some answers. Roger’s carriage interrupts a bunch of highwaymen about to kidnap Lilian von Brabant and her servant Babette. They just happen to be going to the same place and they all share a carriage. She has a similar letter about her mother’s estate.
They arrive at the castle, but it’s a burned-down ruin. There’s an old man camping there. As they drive away, what’s left of the castle collapses completely. The coachman insists on returning to town, at least until the priest pulls a pistol. They pass mannequins in trees; there are arms and legs everywhere.
Night falls, and they’re all lost in “The Forbidden Forest,” much to the driver’s dismay. There are bodies hanging from nooses on the trees, and the carriage runs over a few on the road. The driver has a heart attack and dies. Roger and the priest, Father Fabian, get out to check on all the corpses, and a strange man takes the carriage and the women.
Roger and Fabian find the ruins of Castle Andomai and Regula’s tombstone. They find an underground passage that leads to a whole complex of rooms.
The strange man who took the carriage comes to greet them; he’s Anatol. The women are there, and Lilian plays the piano. She doesn’t seem to recognize either Roger or the priest. Anatol says he gave her a drug to calm her, but that doesn’t seem right to Roger. Babette is there as well, and she seems normal enough. Father Fabian admits that he’s just a robber, not really a priest. Lilian comes out of her delusion and is terrified. They find a painting on the wall of both Lilian and Roger.
Fabian comes in yelling that Babette is being tortured. She’s tied to a big contraption that is going to slowly lower her onto spikes. Roger and Fabian are on the other side of a locked door. They break in the door and save her just in time. She says it was Anatol who put her in the trap.
Anatol chases Babette some more, and Fabian shoots him. “I’ve been dead for years; they hanged me. I am invulnerable.” Anatol laughs maniacally. He shows them to Count Regula’s body, encased in glass. “His spirit is still intact. He shall live again.” Fabian gets locked in a room with no doors as Anatol works a ritual to revive the dead count.
The count, still in his mask of spikes, wakes up. He’s pale and scarred, but looks much better than expected. Anatol reports that Lilian and Roger are the daughter and son of the count’s enemies. The count delights that he’s found the secret to immortality. “In order to succeed, I needed the blood of 13 women. I found 12.” The 13th was to be Lilian’s mother, who turned him in; Roger’s father was the judge who sentenced him to death. Lilian will be the 13th virgin.
Roger is tied down in a room full of rats as a pendulum lowers toward him. The pendulum starts swinging. The count tells Lilian to run to save him, hoping her fear will grow, which he needs for his ritual. She’s chased by vultures, lizards, and tarantulas. Then she’s put into a room with a pit full of snakes while standing on a slowly retracting drawbridge.
“A few more seconds and my vengeance is complete,” smiles the evil count. Roger helplessly watches the pendulum slowly lower towards his belly. The blade cuts the ropes holding him down before they get to him, so he escapes. Fabian just happens to be there to help him out.
Roger bursts into the secret lab and interrupts the process since he’s carrying a cross. He swings the cross, joking that he has a pendulum that will destroy them. The count and his butler cringe at the sight of the cross as their time runs out. Anatol, the count, and the dead women all turn to dust, and the dungeon begins to collapse.
Fabian and Babette ride up in their carriage to pick up Roger and Lilian. Lilian asks if it was all a bad dream. He says it could have been.
Commentary
Note that there’s no character named “Dr. Sadism” or anything even close to that in this film.
It’s a regular Roger Corman-like gothic-looking film from the 60s, but the “modern” music in the soundtrack really throws off the vibe. The music is almost comical at times, but the film is completely serious otherwise. It’s got some very cool visuals, although it’s also really tame by modern standards. It’s got some great sets– it’s a lot like being in one of those Halloween “haunted house” attractions. It’s campy and corny, but it’s got all the staples.
It starts to drag a bit right about the time Christopher Lee makes his big appearance, but once Roger and Lilian get into the traps, it picks up again.
I’m amazed that this film isn’t better known, as it’s quite good if you like other gothic films from the 1960s.
Wait Until Dark (1967)
Directed by Terence Young
Written by Frederick Knott, Robert Carrington, Jane-Howard Hammerstein
Stars Audrey Hepburn, Alan Arkin, Richard Crenna, Efrem Zimbalist Jr.
Run Time: 1 Hour, 48 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-free Judgment Zone
The suspense in this one builds nicely once it gets going. The cast was excellent and all played off each other well. It’s a classic worth checking out.
Spoilery Synopsis
We begin in Canada. A man stuffs little heroin bags into a doll and sews it up. He gives the doll to Lisa, who goes out to catch a taxi to the international airport. The old man calls someone about the doll. Credits roll. When the plane lands, she gives the doll over to Sam Hendrix and leaves with someone who meets her there.
Two guys, Talman and Carlino, go looking for Lisa, but she’s not home. A man in shades also comes to the door. He’s Harry Roat Junior, and he says he’s come to buy them. He wants to hire them to get the doll. He says that Lisa will pay $2000 each to find that doll. Roat tells them that Hendrix is a photographer and that he has the doll. Turns out, they’re in Hendrix’s apartment right now.
Talman starts searching the apartment for the doll and quickly comes across Lisa’s body in the closet. The two guys decide to leave, but Roat reminds them that they’ve left fingerprints all over the place. They are both ex-cons who met in prison. One of them is a former cop. It’s one more reason they should do what Roat wants.
Suddenly, a woman comes into the apartment. She calls for Sam and comes in. For some reason, she doesn’t see any of the three men– she’s completely blind! She’s Susy Hendrix, Sam’s wife, and she doesn’t stay long. She gets in the closet for a scarf but doesn’t even notice the body. Once she’s gone, the men get rid of the body.
Susan and Sam talk about the woman they heard was murdered nearby. Susy complains that Gloria is in love with Sam, but Sam laughs that she’s just a kid; she’s moved things around in the apartment while she was out. Susy’s only recently been blinded, and she’s going to school to learn the ropes, but she’s still not happy about any of it.
Susy’s home alone, and Talman comes over to work on her. He puts out a fire in the ashtray, which endears him to her. He claims that he’s an old friend of Sam’s from the Marines, using information he can see on the wall. Susy says she lost her sight in a car crash. He doesn’t stay long. Gloria comes in, and she’s an annoying little brat who throws a tantrum. The two soon make up.
A loud old man comes into the apartment and makes a scene about something. It’s Roat in disguise. As he leaves, Talman returns, and she looks to him as a hero when he volunteers to stay with her. Carlino comes in as a detective and Talman tells him everything. The two of them manage to subtly bring up the idea of the doll and the missing dead woman.
Roat comes to the door again, and she recognizes the squeaky shoes that the old man wore. He asks if his father was here, the old man from before. Roat’s “Father” thinks a photographer is fooling around with his wife, but it’s the wrong photographer. He also brings up the doll, which was supposedly made for his wife. The two men give each other hand signals, and they signal Carlino outside by flashing the window blinds. Carlino calls and tells Roat that his wife is dead, so he leaves.
Susy says Sam brought a doll like they were talking about from his recent Canadian trip. Susy starts to wonder if Sam really is involved with murders. She doesn't want to call the police as she tries to cover up for Sam. The two of them both thoroughly search the apartment for the doll. Susy realizes all her visitors keep playing with the window blinds, and she puts two and two together about Roat and Carlino. Talman wants to see what’s in her safe, but she won’t open it. Finally, he gives up and leaves.
We see that little Gloria has taken the doll. She sneaks in and puts it under the couch to make it look like Susy simply dropped it. Susy finds the doll and insists that they hide it. She gives Gloria instructions to go and watch the crooks’ van outside.
Carlino comes to the door, and Gloria sneaks out. He thinks she’s been looking for the doll and puts pressure on her about Mrs. Roat’s murder. He suggests that the doll is in the safe and he might have to get a search warrant. There are more telephone shenanigans, and Gloria watches them all playing phone booth outside.
When he leaves, Susy calls Talman and says she’s found the doll. Gloria signals to Susy that Talman is on it as well. Before she can call the real police, Talman returns with Roat and Carlino behind him. Susy says the doll is in Sam’s studio. She’s very calm and fools him. After they leave to search the studio, Susy tells Gloria to go to the bus station and catch Sam when he returns. She tries again to call the police, but the line has been cut.
Susy knows that they’ll be coming back for her, so she breaks all the light bulbs, except for one over the table.
Talman returns, and from the darkness, he knows that she knows, so they talk honestly. He demands the doll, but she refuses. Roat kills Carlino outside, and then he comes in and stabs Talman in the back before chaining the door shut.
Roat pours gasoline all over the floor. He takes his shoes off so she can’t hear him walking. She gets scared and offers to get him the doll. Roat torments her, but she’s not willing to tell him where the doll Is. She destroys the one remaining light. She comes after him with the gasoline; he won’t be lighting any more matches.
It’s pitch black, and we don’t see anything of what’s going on– until he opens the refrigerator door - she forgot one light. She gives him the doll at last, but she also grabs a kitchen knife. He cuts open the doll and removes the heroin. She stabs him, and he dies.
She screams at the door, but she can’t get the chain open. Nope– he’s not dead. She finally manages to turn the power on the fridge out, and things go black again. There's commotion in the dark. Did he get her?
Sam and Gloria arrive with the police, who break down the door. They find Talman and Roat, but Susy is hiding behind the fridge. She’s fine.
Commentary
This was originally a stage play, and it’s obvious, as there’s really only one set. It’s very Hitchcockian, but Alfred had nothing to do with this one. How much could a little doll’s worth of heroin be worth, anyway? The two hired goons were $8000 plus there had to be plenty left over for Roat.
It starts out a little contrived and is a bit of a slow burn, but the tension ratchets up in the final half hour. By the time she figured out that Talman was a baddie, why didn’t she just give him the doll– she knew by then that there was no real murder plot involving Sam. Also, Roat walked all over that apartment barefoot and never once stepped on a broken lightbulb.
The performances are all good, the plot develops interestingly, and it’s all very well done.
Space Amoeba (1970)
AKA “Gezora, Ganime, Kameba: Kessen! Nankai no daikaijû”
Directed by Ishiro Honda
Written by Ei Ogawa
Stars Akira Kubo, Atsuko Takahashi, Yukiko Kobayashi, Kenji Sahara
Run Time: 1 Hour, 24 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
This was in the middle of the road among the giant creature features. But it does have four big ones, some science fiction elements, and characters to root for. It was fairly entertaining, but not one that will make the best of lists.
Spoilery Synopsis
We open on a big American rocket about to blast off into space. They do the countdown, and up it goes! It’s going to Jupiter, where it will orbit for a year before trying to land there. However, it runs into space spores along the way that turn it around back toward Earth.
Akira Kubo, a news photographer and passenger on an airplane, watches as the Helios spacecraft splashes down into the ocean. He meets up with Ayaki Hoshino, who tells him about a remote island paradise. It’s going to be a fantastic new resort, and they want Kubo to take publicity photos. Dr. Mira, one of Kubo’s old friends, is going there to study reports of alleged “monsters” there. It’s the island near where Kubo saw the spacecraft go down.
An advance party of two men on the island complain about the cold as they go fishing. Suddenly, they’re attacked by a giant squid that eats one of them. The other man gets away but runs into the island natives.
Ayako and Kudo run into Obata, an annoying man who’s also in the tourist trade. They get a report about the man on the island who was killed. Kudo, Ayako, Mida, and Obata, along with Rico, the guide, take a dinghy to the island. Rico runs off immediately, leaving them on their own. Yokoyama, the survivor of the monster attack, comes to pick them up, but he doesn’t want to talk about monsters. Ayako sees a tiny turtle and screams.
The group goes into a cave with an underwater lake, and then they see the water start glowing. Something big splashes them, but they don’t get a look at it. Yokoyama panics, runs back to base, and starts packing. Meanwhile, the giant squid-thing attacks the house from outside, and it’s way bigger than the house. It eats Yokoyama and injures Rico.
The others walk to base and find the wreckage. They find Rico, who has frostbite burns on his body. Obata digs through the rubble and finds some secret business plans that he stashes away. A native girl, Saki, walks in; she’s Rico’s girlfriend and wants to help. She leads them to the native village.
In the morning, Kudo and Mida go Scuba diving to find the monster, and Obata tries to convince Ayako that there are no monsters. The divers soon find the downed spacecraft and take lots of pictures. Then the monster shows up and attacks, but the two men manage to escape. The natives call the monster “Gezora.”
Gezora goes to the village, and everyone there scatters. The old leader stops to pray to it, but that doesn’t work. The visitors argue about it being an octopus, but it’s clearly a squid. Could they use fire to fight the sea monster? They get some gasoline and spread it around before luring the creature into their trap. It burns and runs away, back to the ocean. It sinks to the bottom and dies, releasing the space spores…
The humans continue to explore the island. They find a whole shed full of ammunition and fuel. Dr. Nida thinks that the monster might have come “from out of this world.” Obata finds an inflatable raft and tries to get away, but something under the water attacks him– it’s a giant crab! It too chases everyone through the woods. Kudo shoots one of its eyes out, but it keeps coming. He then shoots out the other eye, and it walks off a cliff. Then he blows it up, but again, the spores move on…
Obata wakes up on the beach, not dead from his misadventure with the crab. He sees some of the glowing blue spores, and they climb onto him. He hears a voice telling him that he’s been taken control of, and the spores are here to conquer the Earth. Meanwhile, Dr. Mida figures all this out on his own and tells the others.
Saki invites the group to her wedding with Rico, who is still basically comatose. Rico freaks out in the middle of it all and runs into the jungle. He remembers the monsters now. Mida realizes that they can use sound waves to hurt the creatures. They can use bats to make the sound, but when they go to the cave to catch some bats, they find all the bats are dead; something killed them.
While searching, Kudo and Ayako find another monster, this time a big turtle. They hide in a cave and see the bats inside. They seal up the caves to save the bats for later, but then Obata shows up. They explain the bat-plan to him, and he’s nosy about it. That night, just before dark, Obata dumps gasoline to set all the bat caves on fire.
Ayako tries to talk to Obata, to get the man inside to resist. He does resist and forces his body to let the bats escape. Obata walks out where a giant lobster and turtle are being harassed by bats. They revert to their natural instincts and start fighting each other. They fight their way up a mountain, and both fall into a volcano.
The humans watch as Obata walks toward the volcano and jumps in as well. “Obata killed the last of the space creatures; he killed himself to save mankind.”
Kudo complains that no one would ever believe his story, and he doesn’t have any pictures.
Commentary
Not just one giant monster here, but four! These aren’t Godzilla-type mutations, these are upgraded animals, enlarged by space spores. I guess the blue space spores are the “Space Amoebas” since none of the monsters are even remotely amoeba-like.
It’s a predictable story with middling-quality creatures. We were entertained, but it’s not going on anyone’s top-ten list.
Dark Places (1973)
Directed by Don Sharp
Written by Ed Brennan, Joseph Van Winkle, James Hannah Jr
Stars Christopher Lee, Joan Collins, Herbert Lom, Jane Birkin, Robert Hardy, Jean Marsh
Run Time: 1 Hour, 31 Minutes
Watch it:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
This one is a character driven mystery tale with some supernatural elements to it. It’s not tremendously good, but it’s decent and gets the job done. Joan Collins and Christopher Lee don’t have a lot of screen time together, but they make the most of it. It’s not too hard to guess where things are going, but it’s satisfying, and we liked it quite a bit.
Spoilery Synopsis
Dr. Ian Mandeville comes to see Mr. Marr, who is dying. Edward Foster complains to the young doctor that he should have been called in sooner. Old man Marr tells Edward where to find his will; “They’ll come back, my children. Promise to keep my house and money for them.” The old man dies before telling him where his fortune is hidden. He leaves as Dr. Mandeville arrives, too late.
On the way to the Marr house, Edward talks to the cabbie, who warns him not to go there; bad things happen there. He smiles when he sees Marr’s Grove, the big mansion, and doesn’t like the pit that he steps into by accident. He cuts his leg badly and calls Dr. Ian Mandeville to patch him up. They talk about the old house, and Ian warns him about the place as well. Edward tells Ian that he met old man Marr in the asylum.
Old Andrew’s solicitor, Prescott, talks to Edward later; Edward will stay with him until Marr’s Grove is ready to inhabit. In the morning, he checks out the mansion that he’s “inherited.” The place is covered in dust and cobwebs, but it’s mostly intact. He uncovers a painting of Andrew when he was younger, and there’s a resemblance between him and Edward. He also sees a strange “shield” design written in the dust more recently.
Sarah Mandeville, Ian’s sister, comes to visit. She comments that he’s younger than she pictured. She offers to take charge cleaning the old place up. She’s very forward and direct about what she wants.
Edward goes to the local banker for an account; the old banker doesn’t know where the 210,000 pounds went- it might be hidden in the house somewhere. Ian tells Edward that old man Marr’s children are dead; they were all murdered, so they aren’t coming back. “That’s why the villagers won’t go near the place.”
Later, Ian and Sarah come to the conclusion that Edward is there for the money, after all their efforts. Things seem to fall down and move when Edward comes into the room. He finds an old photo of Alta and thinks he sees her in the window; Prescott says no, she’s dead too, murdered along with everyone else. He adds that no one knows how they were murdered, since no one ever found the bodies.
A couple of times at Prescott’s place, Edward has seen a light on in Marr’s Grove, but there’s never anyone actually there. Edward spends his days searching for secret rooms where the loot might be hidden. Prescott and Ian argue about the money; they both accuse the other of wanting it. Edward tells Sarah about some of the weird things he’s experienced, and she knows she had nothing to do with it; she wonders if the place really is haunted.
Edward starts getting flashbacks to young Andrew dealing with his children, Francis and Jessica. He appears to have been having an affair with Alta, the governess. Edward starts dreaming about all this in the daytime as well.
Edward and Sarah have sex, and in the morning, Edwards finds muddy footprints in the bedroom, along with a pickaxe. Sarah warns Edward about Prescott; since an insane man cannot form a will, Edward can’t legally inherit the house, and Prescott would know that– why would Prescott let Edward have the house?
While having sex, Edward notices a small hole in the wall, which he breaks open later; the wall is full of bats. Edward flashes back to Andrew and Alta again. They talk about his wife’s mental illness and that the children have inherited it; “They’re evil.” Edward starts to think Andrew is trying to possess him. He tells Sarah things about the area that he shouldn’t know.
More and more, Edward flashes back to Andrew and Alta. She wants him to commit his wife and children to the asylum, but he doesn’t want to. Later, Sarah tells Ian that Edward’s starting to act very strangely.
While in one of his Andrew-trances, Edward finds a key and opens a locked door. He comes out of the trance when Ian knocks on the door. Edward goes on a walk with Ian and Prescott while Sarah sneaks back to the house to search. Edward grabs some random children while hallucinating about Andrew’s children; Prescott and Ian take him back to the hosue.
We flash back to Andrew getting the money and giving half to Alta; she wants to just leave, but he wants to tell his wife, Victoria, first. He tells Victoria about his feelings for Alta, but she won’t hear it. She throws a massive tantrum, and Edward experiences the whole thing.
Edward has had enough and starts packing his things. He finds the key to that locked room again and checks it out. He finds the soft wall that obviously covers a secret room. He laughs to himself, “it’s mine!” and then he takes a nap. Sarah crawls into bed with him, but Andrew hallucinates her as Victoria. He hears Alta screaming in the next room, so he strangles Victoria/Sarah.
Edward then starts hacking away at the secret wall. Prescott and Ian are on the way to the house, and Sarah is dead on the floor, much to Edward’s surprise. Ian comes to the door for Sarah; he knows Edward wasn’t working at the asylum; he was a patient there. “I’ve come to help you with the money. You’ve found it, haven’t you?” Ian runs upstairs to the bedroom and finds his sister’s body on the floor. Edward kills Ian with the ax.
We then flash back to Andrew confronting his children, who won’t say where Alta is. He finds Alta tied to the bed, murdered by the children. “You don’t have to go away now!” He pulls out a sword and kills them both.
Prescott comes into the house, looking for Edward, or Ian, or anyone. He soon finds the bodies of Ian and Sarah in the bedroom. He calls the police and tells them to come quickly. They arrest Edward and look inside that hole in the wall, where they find all the dead bodies. They also find two suitcases full of banknotes. Prescott is not happy when the policeman takes all the money as evidence.
Edward and the police drive off, probably back to the asylum.
Commentary
It’s a low-budget British haunted house film with some recognizable faces in it. That’ll either sell you or dissuade you from seeing it, but that’s really all there is to it. It’s fine, but not especially outstanding. This came out about the same time that Hammer and Amicus were in their heyday, and it’s very similar to offerings from those two studios.
I suspected early on that when Edward said he met old man Marr at the asylum, they were both patients there, and the whole thing would be his own imagination.
The main actor here is fifth-biller Robert Hardy, and top-billed Christopher Lee is just sorta there in some scenes as a supporting character. It was a little predictable at points, but overall, worth a watch.
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes! (1978)
Directed by John De Bello
Written by Costa Dillon, John De Bello, J Stephen Peace
Stars David Miller, George Wilson, Sharon Taylor
Run Time: 1 Hour, 23 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
Like tomatoes being thrown at you, this movie is a non-stop barrage of jokes and silly things. Some are subtle, some are obvious, some stick, some fall flat, some are dated, some are timeless. But there are a lot of them. Almost to the point of it being fatiguing. But chuckles are to be had, and if you’re in the mood for an over-the-top spoof, you might want to check this one out.
Spoilery Synopsis
We are told about Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds” and how people laughed– until it really happened. What could happen next? It’s the present day of 1978, and a woman sees a grumbling tomato climb out of her sink and roll across the floor to get her. Credits roll, including a catchy song!
The police find the dead woman, covered in blood– no, it’s not blood, it’s tomato juice. The radio tells us that the tomato crops have been growing at an unprecedented rate. We get a montage of people talking about tomatoes killing their relatives.
We cut to the farm where a helicopter crashed behind the police’s defensive line. It’s like a war zone. The President wants an investigation, and he wants Mason Dixon to investigate the situation. There are incidents of tomato attacks all over the country.
The generals all assemble in the smallest possible conference room to debate the situation. Dr. Nokitofa explains the plan, and he’s very obviously badly dubbed. There are a few translation… difficulties.
Mason Dixon arrives, and he’s introduced to his team of “experts.” We cut to the beach, where a bunch of tomatoes have seen “Jaws” and re-enact their favorite scenes. There’s a Senate investigation, but one guy gets left out.
Ace reporter Lois Fairchild watches as a bike racer is eaten by a herd of tomatoes. She’s then assigned to check out the real story behind the tomatoes. She confronts Dixon about what he knows.
Jim Richardson, the President’s Press Secretary, goes to talk to a publicity guy who is a walking infomercial– at least until he breaks into song. He then gets started on the world’s ultimate commercial.
Dixon gets a call; they’ve captured an oversized tomato. Now we cut to scenes of people being assaulted by giant tomatoes.
Sam Smith, the disguise expert, infiltrates the tomato camp and listens to the tomatoes making plans. There’s a campfire hangout that works well for him until he slips up and asks for someone to pass the ketchup for his hotdog. His cover is blown. Then it’s time for the army to sing a song about crushing tomatoes. Lots and lots of stuff happens with Dixon in the desert. Jim Richardson confronts Dixon; he thinks he can control the tomatoes.
Finally, we get a crowd of people assembled as the giant tomatoes approach. Dixon gets to the stadium to play the song “Puberty Love” at top volume, and the tomatoes retreat [they really could have used some Slim Whitman]. The people charge out, stomping all the tomatoes underfoot. Lois, however, is attacked by the giantest tomato of all, and this one’s wearing earmuffs to block out the singing. Dixon shows the song’s sheet music, and that has the same effect.
Lois and Mason fall instantly in love and sing one more song to each other. After they walk off into the sunset, the carrots start planning their move…
Commentary
Many of these actors never worked on a movie before; many of them never worked again. It’s a non-stop barrage of jokes, both spoken and visual. There are almost too many jokes; some hit and some miss, but there are a lot of them. Most are pretty dated or not especially funny, and it gets old fast. There’s really only barely a story; it’s more like a bunch of loosely connected skits.
Too many silly jokes. Not enough killer tomatoes. I was bored to tears after twenty minutes. I’m sure I’d have thought this was hilarious when I was six years old, but not so much now.
The Entity (1982)
Directed by Sidney J. Furie
Written by Frank De Felitta
Stars Barbara Hershey, Ron Silver, David Labiosa
Run Time: 2 Hours, 5 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
This was inspired by true events. We’d say loosely based on true events at best. It’s a little on the long side, but it moves well and doesn't seem excessive. There are interesting plays between the paranormal and science trying to explain it, with the most elaborate setup to catch a ghost since “Ghostbusters.”
Spoilery Synopsis
Carla Moran runs to her typing class. Afterward, she goes home and checks on her sleeping kids. Her oldest son, Billy, is a slob. She goes into the bedroom, where something invisible throws her on the bed and violently rapes her. She screams, and all three kids run in, terrified. There’s no one there and all the doors are locked. Was it just a bad dream?
Later the same night, things have calmed down and she’s alone in the bedroom again. There’s an earthquake and the room gets really cold. But it’s just the bedroom. Everyone runs to the car, but only Carla felt anything. Billy didn’t hear anything other than his mother screaming. The family goes to stay at Carla’s friend’s house for the night.
In the morning, she tells Cindy what happened, but it’s all a little hard to believe. The rapist was there, but then he vanished. Cindy wonders if Carla’s on drugs; maybe she needs to see a doctor. Cindy’s rude husband makes them all leave soon after. They stay out all day, but they have to go that evening. Cindy shows up, and they sleep in the same bed for safety; nothing happens that night.
On the way to work the next day, something invisible takes control of Carla’s car and drives like a maniac through heavy traffic. After that, she goes to Dr. Phil Sneiderman, a psychiatrist who orders some tests. She then goes home and takes a bath, where she’s attacked again; we don’t see anyone else there with her.
She tells Phil that it felt like there was more than one attacker; three of them attacked her. She has bruises and bite marks in places that she couldn’t have bit herself. The doctor thinks it’s some kind of psychological trauma from her past. He drives her home and goes inside, looking around the house. He says she’s perfectly normal; she says, “There’s still something here.”
That night, she gets it again, right in front of Billy and the other kids. Billy gets thrown around by something invisible as well. He appears to be attacked by electricity and then passes out.
She goes to talk to a whole panel of psychiatrists. She leaves, and the other doctors all think she’s hysterical, and the kids are as well. Dr. Phil Sneiderman isn’t convinced of their justifications.
Carla’s boyfriend, Jerry, comes home from his trip. He works on the road, and she wants to go with him, but that’s impossible. She takes a sedative before bedtime, and the ghost does things to her as she sleeps.
Phil wants Carla to check into the hospital for two weeks, and he’s very insistent. Rather than do that, she threatens to just cooperate with the ghost and give it what it wants. They argue about ghosts, demons, and imagination. That evening, she goes to Cindy’s house, and the ghost wrecks the place; it’s not just at her house anymore. Cindy and her husband see what happened, but they don’t see the ghost itself.
She meets Gene and Joe, some parapsychologists, at the bookstore and brings them home with her. They experience some weirdness right away and then set up with their ghost-detecting equipment. That night, the ghost is there, but he’s very weak. They soon bring in the whole parapsychology department, and Dr. Phil is not supportive and accuses Billy of pretending to battle the ghost, which he denies.
That night, Gene, Joe, and Dr. Cooley all see some strangeness, but it’s not especially violent. Just as they’re all wrapping up for the evening, Jerry returns unexpectedly and asks what all the people were there for. She tells him what’s been going on, and he’s skeptical. Then he walks in on her being pinned to the bed and that goes badly. Jerry and Phil talk, and Jerry wants out; the marriage is off.
Joe and Gene come up with a plan to “contain” the ghost. They build a whole fake house that looks just like Carla’s, only they control the electricity, and there are no ceilings; they can see everything. There’s also a protective area that seals shut to keep the ghost out and tons of liquid helium to freeze it. Phil shows up, and he thinks this whole setup is dangerous.
Night falls, and Carla goes to bed inside the fake house. Meanwhile, Phil and his boss make phone calls to get the experiment shut down. Everyone feels the room getting cold. The liquid helium starts spraying on its own, chasing Carla around the “house,” keeping her from the protective area. It freezes the glass in the protected area, and it shatters easily.
She tells the ghost that she’s finished running; it should do what it wants. Phil drags her out before all the helium tanks explode and freeze everything solid. The ghost is briefly trapped, but it soon breaks out.
Carla goes home and the ghost is there waiting for her. She hears it speak this time. She goes outside to talk to the kids; she’s just gonna roll with it for now. The attacks continue…
Commentary
It’s supposedly based on a true story of a woman who claimed to be regularly raped by three ghosts. Every time the kids are on-screen, they’re shrill and screaming. It’s got a lot of personal drama and talking, but surprisingly little ghost action. It’s more about the conflict between psychology and parapsychology rather than ghosts.
It’s pretty long, mostly because it explores the topic pretty thoroughly, but overall, it was well done and holds up pretty well today.
Short Film: Sea Devil (2014)
Directed by Dean C. Marcial, Brett Potter
Written by Dean C. Marcial, Brett Potter
Stars Moise Brutus, Antoni Corone, Taylor Rouviere
Run Time: 9:12
Watch it:
What Happens
We are told that on the morning of June 22, 2012, an unmanned fishing boat was found in Miami; the crew never was.
We flash back to the boat picking up two Cuban immigrants; cash is transferred as well. Much to their surprise, the captain puts them to work on his fishing boat to make it all look more legit.
Something more than just fish enters the boat that night; it looks like a man with no legs, and he’s covered in barnacles. “Put me back” he moans.
This isn’t going to end well, is it?
Commentary
The characters and motivations are believable enough, the acting is good, the prosthetics are well done. The night shots are entirely too dark, sometimes you can only guess what’s going on. The ending is also far too abrupt; we know what’s coming, but it would have been better to see a little more.
Stay tuned for more reviews next week!
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Wait Until Dark, The Entity, Space Amoeba, Dark Places, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, and The Torture Chamber of Dr. Sadism