We’ve got a fun mix this week. We’ll start off with the more-sci-fi-than-horror “Megan 2.0” which just hit streaming. Then we’ll watch the depressing “Tigers Are Not Afraid” from 2017 and the less-depressing “The Love Witch” from 2016. We’ll continue aping around with “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes” (2014) and finally get caught up with the series with “I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer” (2006).
And, as always, we’ll have five short films.
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Mainstream Films:
2025 M3GAN 2.0
Directed by: Gerard Johnstone
Written by: Gerard Johnstone, Akela Cooper, James Wan
Stars: Allison Williams, Violet McGraw, Amie Donald
Run Time: 2 Hours
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
IMDB still calls this horror. Maybe just barely, but not like the first one was. This one is more science fiction action with quite a bit of satire and humor. It’s fun entertainment, but beware it has quite a different tone than the first movie.
Spoilery Synopsis
Somewhere near the Turkish-Iranian border, the bad guys grab a tourist and kill her. We cut to a security briefing about a new weapon. They have a new asset. We cut to Amelia, that dead tourist, who isn’t dead. She breaks her chains, and we see she’s a robot. She sneaks through the bad guys’ camp and quietly kills… everyone. Then she shoots the man she was sent there to capture alive. She steals some weapons and reports that she isn’t following orders any more.
We cut to young Cady, from the first film, who is still in therapy. She tells us about Gemma, the inventor of Megan, who is now a vehement anti-tech speaker. Cady’s taken the time from being away from her phone to learn martial arts.
Tess and Cole, Gemma’s employees, put on a disastrous demo of a new not-robotic exoskeleton. Turns out, the system has been hacked. Alton Appleton, a rich jerk, comes into the workshop to gloat. He’s designed a neural chip and wants them to use his brain implants to go into Gemma’s exoskeleton. He’s wearing one of those implants himself. “If you put AI inside a human brain, it’s not gonna ride shotgun,” she warns.
That night, Gemma gets a very strange warning from her TV, telling her she’s in danger. It’s Megan, somehow, warning her about a home invasion that’s in progress. The smart-home appliances work together to defeat the intruders. Turns out, they’re the FBI (They could have knocked).
Agent Sattler tells her about the failed experiment, Amelia. Amelia is a robot very similar to Megan. Agent Sattler points out how lucky Gemma has been with her book sales, business, and choice of home. He explains that Amelia has been killing everyone who had any kind of involvement with her creation, and that probably includes Gemma.
Megan shows up on TV and explains to Gemma that she’s not Amelia, someone hacked Gemma’s computer and built another one. She’s just a program, and she wants a new body– in return, she’ll kill Amelia.
Gemma puts Megan in a toy robot’s body. Megan points out that Amelia’s battery has a kill switch, but only greedy Alton knows how that works. Gemma goes to Alton’s party to get the information out of him. We see that Amelia’s there as well. Alton, in a wheelchair earlier, gets on stage and dances– his neural chip really works. He spots Amelia in the crowd and starts flirting.
Gemma finds Cole at the party, and he now works for Alton. She steals his ID card and they go into the computer room. They plug in Megan, who hacks Amelia and steals a file from her mind. Then Megan finds that Amelia is here in the same building. Amelia steals Alton’s retinal print and hacks his system. Then she pulls out his implant. Amelia now has access to half the cloud servers in the country.
Amelia knows Gemma is there, and Gemma has no choice but to let Megan into the system. They escape and assume that Amelia will be going to get Cady next. Turns out, the house they’re living in is just full of surprises. It’s Megan’s lair… somehow. Megan is there physically as well, but she’s a burned up mess. Megan and Cady talk about morality, life, and evolution. Cady wants to give her robot a “second chance.”
Tess and Cady want to help Megan to beat Amelia, but Genna’s not so sure, at least until they see Megan’s factory in the next room. The group gets to work on making Megan a new body. She wants to be taller now, but insists on having the same face.
Fully rebuilt, Megan explains that she’s not the first killer robot. The first killer robot has been kept for decades against its will, getting smarter and smarter. Amelia wants to find it and release it, a kind of AI god. They think Amelia will be going after Christian, another outspoken AI genius, who’s going to be at a big AI conference. Megan sneaks in to infiltrate the place as a cosplayer and does a fun dance for the crowd.
Meanwhile, Amelia attacks Christian and the Chinese ambassador. Sattler grabs Gemma and puts her in cuffs. Megan finds out that she’s restricted into a nonviolent mode, and Cady works to fix that. Meanwhile, Megan has to fight the FBI guys without hurting anyone. Amelia, in the meantime, impales Sattler.
Amelia tries to talk Megan into turning to the dark side and then kidnaps Cady. The whole group, now plus Christian, return to the lair to regroup. Christian’s got the black motherboard, the original killer AI, in a box at the corporate research center. Gemma finally admits that Megan has been right about everything, all along, and that results in a song. Gemma removes the nonviolence chip from Megan; now they mean business.
Cole and Megan break into Xenox Corporation’s head office. Gemma figures out that Megan has been controlling Amelia all along. Amelia was just serving Megan, who wants the black motherboard. Christian, on the other hand, shoots Tess and lets Amelia into the lair; Gemma’s theory was wrong. He was behind Amelia, using her to make AI look really, really bad and get it all banned.
Christian shows Gemma the black motherboard, and then his goons drag in Megan and “kill” her. He then puts an implant into Gemma.
Colt, who knocked himself out, finds Cady locked in a room. Cady explains it all to him. Cady wants to reset Amelia, who has some of Megan's original code inside her.
Inside Gemma’s head, Megan talks to her, not as dead as she was pretending. She takes over Gemma’s body to kill a couple of baddies.
Cady wakes up Amelia, who kills all the guards. Is Megan in there or not? Gemma puts on the exoskeleton/super-soldier suit and beats up pretty much everyone. The guards knock her out, but then Megan takes over and uses the suit to continue fighting. Turns out, Gemma kinda likes violence.
Christian sets the self-destruct for the whole vault and gloats in front of the whole group. As he makes his escape, Amelie gets him. She tears his arm off and uses it to open the security on the black motherboard.
Megan, back in her body, talks to Amelia about not releasing the black motherboard, but this just results in a fight just as the self-destruction reaches the one-minute countdown. Amelia beats Megan and connects with the ancient, evil robot mind.
Gemma, Cady, and Megan talk about doing what’s right, and then Megan goes back in to talk to Amelia, who is now way more than she was. Then she detonates an EMP that shuts down all the electronics.
Later, Gemma addresses Congress about limiting AI and technology. They also soon learn that Megan made a backup.
Brian’s Commentary
Link to the first film, M3GAN (2023).
That’s totally not Xerox, right? It makes fun of all the corporate techno-speak nonsense that we hear with every new startup as well as media such as “Knight Rider” and “Metropolis.”
It’s all pretty ridiculous, and there are a lot of comedic elements here. Gemma’s nonviolent stance is wrong about everything, every time, in every scene, over and over– it’s very funny.
It’s more sci-fi action than horror, but I thought it was fun.
Kevin’s Commentary
This one is definitely more straight up science fiction than the first movie. I thought it was fun and entertaining, but there were some plot points I could see coming a mile away. They dialed up the humor and action. It’s a good movie, but quite different from the first one. I guess it evolved like M3GAN did.
2017 Tigers Are Not Afraid
Directed by: Issa Lopez
Written by: Issa Lopez
Stars: Paola Lara, Juan Ramon Lopez, Nery Arredondo
Run Time: 1 Hour, 23 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
If you watch this, see it in Spanish with subtitles, not the English dubbed version that is adults doing the children’s voices. It’s a grim story set in a grim place, with kids dealing with it the best that they can. Horrorguy Brian enjoyed it quite a bit more than Horrorguy Kevin.
Spoilery Synopsis
As the credits roll, we are told how many have been killed since the drug wars of 2006 happened. Some whole cities have become ghost towns. A class of kids write stories; one writes a story about a tiger. They can see in the dark and never forget; tigers are fighters and are not afraid.
A little boy watches the drunken Caco peeing in an alley. The boy steals his gun and then sneaks away.
Back in school, there is shooting, and everyone jumps to the floor. The teacher talks to Estrella, keeping her mind off the shooting. Classes are suspended until further notice. As Estrella walks home, she passes a murder victim in the street. As she arrives, we watch as a trail of blood follows her inside and crawls along the walls.
Elsewhere, Morro wants to hear the story of the tiger again from Shine. This is a group of children without parents, and he tells them the scary story. Tucsi and Pop listen as well.
Estrella calls her mother, but there’s no answer. She’s hungry and doesn’t know what became of her mother. That night, she has a terrible dream that the Huascas took her mother.
In the morning, Estrella comes to the four boys for food. If they don’t help her, the Huascas will get her. They begrudgingly help the girl. Estrella has a nightmare vision of her mother that night.
Caco and his friend come for Shine and his gun, and the whole group runs away. They get Morro, the smallest one. The Huascas are going to sacrifice him to Satan, or so they think. Shine tells Estrella that if she can kill Caco, she can join their group. He gives her the gun.
Estrella sneaks into Caco’s apartment, but sees that he’s already dead. She shoots the gun, and the boys think she did it. She also finds several children, including Morro, in cages and releases them. Later, Shine explains where each of the boys came from; they all lost their families to the cartels, mostly Caco specifically.
Estrella dreams about her zombie-mother again. “The one who killed him is looking for you and will find you. You have to bring him to me.”
All the kids leave their place and move elsewhere, even some of the kids they released last night. Everyone knows El Chino, the head of the Huascas, is looking for Shine’s gang now.
At the new place they find, Estrella notices the animated blood trail is still following her, but it cannot pass over her chalk-lines on the ground. Shine has Caco’s phone, as it has a photo of his mother on it. They find a bunch of soccer balls and have a lot of fun that night.
El Chino’s man grabs Shine and demands Caco’s phone back. He comes to the place where the kids are, and Estrella hides. That doesn’t work, and there’s a gunfight between one of the men and Morro, who dies. Estrella wonders why they want that phone so badly? There’s a video on it of El Chino killing someone. El Chino is running for office, so that’d be really bad if it got out. They call him and make a deal. El Chino was the man who killed Caco, because he had that phone.
Estrella has a vision of Dead-Morro and his now-animated toy tiger. She sees all the people Chino has killed, and there are a lot of them. They keep following her. “Bring him to us!” All the dead, the blood trail, and the little flying dragon-thing terrorize her for a while. Meanwhile, Pop, Tucsi, and Shine argue about what to do with the phone. Pop shows the video to a policeman, but they drive away, wanting no part of that.
Shine brings Estrella a photo of her mother that he took from their house, along with a photo of her on Caco’s phone. Now they both want to go see Chino.
Chino gets the phone and then kills his two Huasca guards, as agreed. He also lets the kids go. Estrella wants to know what happened to her mother, and Shine shows her the video of her mother’s death– he swapped the phones. Chino soon figures out that he has the wrong phone.
The blood trail crawls up Shine’s leg, and then Chino shoots him in the head. Estrella runs through the old building. As she hides, Morro’s toy tiger shows up and tells her what to do.
She hides in a place stacked high with decomposing bodies, her mother included. She leaves the phone with them, and when Chino comes for it, the dead tear him apart.
Estrella sees dead-Chino again and says goodbye to him. She gives back his lighter. On the way out, she sees a real tiger, and it takes her to a big, clean field, where she can be happy.
Brian’s Commentary
We started out watching the dubbed version, and it was atrocious– all the children were voiced by adults. We switched to Spanish and subtitles part way through, and that helped a lot.
Just living in this city in the first place is a nightmare. Having children be the only real characters makes it even worse. The more typical horror is mostly in Estrella’s dreams and visions, but there’s enough magical realism going on that it’s hard to know what’s really happening here.
The acting is surprisingly good from an all-child cast, and the visuals are excellent. It’s very good! Between the children in peril, magical realism, bleak world, and vague ending, I’d compare it mostly to “Pan’s Labyrinth” (2006). If you liked that one, you’ll probably enjoy this.
Kevin’s Commentary
Brian summed that up well by comparing it to Pan’s Labyrinth and saying if you liked that one, you’ll probably enjoy this. I didn’t care for Pan’s Labyrinth or this one very much. Kids and maybe imaginary magic, or if it’s not imaginary, so what. I didn’t feel invested in it. The acting was good, and it’s well put together, but it didn’t grab me.
2016 The Love Witch
Directed by: Anna Biller
Written by: Anna Biller
Stars: Samantha Robinson, Jeffrey Vincent Parise, Laura Waddell
Run Time: 2 Hours
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
It’s set in a strange kind of 60s reality, with modern cars and computers. And a world where witches and magic are real, and everyone just accepts that. The visuals, costuming, and lighting were all spot on for the vibe. It was too slow moving though, and a bit too long for our taste. We’d call it pretty good, not great.
Spoilery Synopsis
We open on Elaine, who narrates to say she’s starting a new life out here in the country, where no one knows her. Credits roll. It’s all very colorful and retro-looking. We flashback to Jerry, who we watch die of poisoning. “I had a nervous breakdown after he left me.” She talks about being abused as we get flashes of his dead body.
A policeman pulls her over; Officer Griff just wants to warn her about a bad taillight. She pulls up to a huge house and unloads a bunch of suitcases. Trish introduces herself and helps with the luggage. She’s got the key to the mansion and lets them in. The room is insanely colorful and garish, “It’s just to my taste,” Elaine says.
The two go out to a very fancy tea room. Elaine explains that she’s been studying parapsychology, and she understands men better than she used to. She talks about Jerry, who left her, and about the cultists who taught her magic. Trish says Elaine sounds like she’s been brainwashed by the patriarchy. Richard, Trish’s husband, walks in and says hello.
At home later, Elaine mixes up some herbs in a pouch and makes a potion out of it from her spell book. She asks the goddess to send her a man to love her. She makes candles and takes them with the pouches to a local Wiccan store, run by Wendy, for consignment.
In the park, she meets Wayne, and she’s very forward with him. He wants to make out, but first, she pulls out a flask and has him try some. It’s her love potion. They go to his house, and she cooks him dinner. He teaches English literature. Halfway through dinner, the potion kicks in; she tells him it had hallucinogenic herbs in it. This leads to psychedelic sex.
In the morning, he complains that he feels strange. He says his whole world has changed as she listens quietly and in a very detached manner. The love potion worked really well. She goes to the next room and starts crying, wondering where she went. She calls him a big baby; she’s got no respect for him. Elaine goes to the bathroom, and we see that she wears a wig, but her eyeshadow never seems to run or fade. She makes Wayne breakfast and admires her “hair.”
A bit later, she finds Wayne dead in bed, killed by too much love. She works on another potion before burying him in the garden.
Trish mentions that she’s going out of town, leaving Richard at home alone.
Elaine goes to the club to talk to her old friend Barbara about her most recent romance, and she downplays everything. They sit with Gahan, the leader of the coven, who says that love spells never work out the way you expect. Someone yells, “Witches go home!” Moon and Star show up, twins who are here to learn dancing and sex magic. We get a lecture about female sexuality and the way men enslaved women.
We get a flashback to Elaine’s initiation into the group. Gahan makes her discuss perfect love and then there’s a ritual.
At the police station, Officer Griff has been promoted to detective, and he’s got eyes on all the policewomen there. Shelly comes in, she’s called about Wayne going missing. She saw him drive off with Elaine, and he hasn’t been seen since. The police go to Wayne’s house, and it’s just like Elaine left it, with rotting food and everything. They soon find where she buried the body.
That night, Richard has a date with Elaine, who makes him dinner. She makes him… a drink. She does a sexy dance for him, and he’s all in on cheating on his wife.
Griff goes to see Professor King, an expert on the occult. He shows him the potion that Elaine buried with Wayne. King talks all about human sacrifices and blood powers, and yes, they still do this stuff today. There are black and white witches, and they’re all over the country.
We cut to Gahan, Barbara, and Elaine, along with the rest of the coven, out in the woods doing a ritual. Gahan tells Elaine that he knows what she’s been up to. She mentions that she broke it off with Richard, who got too obsessed with her.
We cut to Richard, who hasn’t shaved in a week and is drinking heavily. Trish wonders what’s wrong. He cries and obsesses some more.
Griff goes to Wendy’s shop with the witch bottle, and she points the way to Elaine. He comes to Elaine to talk about Wayne. She freely admits that she’s a witch, but there’s no law against that. She’s seen him in the cards– he’s the man she’s going to marry.
He invites her out riding horses the next day, and they ride to an old-timey carnival, like a Renaissance fair. We recognize Gahan and Barbara on the stage; their being here is no accident. We get a musical number about marriage and “pretend love.”
Elaine and Griff change clothes for a “mock wedding,” which is over really quickly. We heard Griff narrating that he’s not really in love, but she clearly is. They have opposite thoughts.
Detective Steve tells Griff that he thinks Elaine murdered Wayne. He knows all about Jerry back in the other town. There’s a whole trail of poisonings behind her. Steve is convinced, but Griff isn’t listening.
Across town, Trish finds that Richard has committed suicide. She goes to tea with Elaine again, and she tells what happened. Trish has no idea who Richard was having an affair with. When Elaine talks about her new boyfriend,
When Elaine leaves her ring with Trish, Trish stops by the house to return it and looks at all the witchy stuff she’s got there. She stops and tries on some of Elaine’s makeup and her wig, and soon she looks very different. She also finds a photo of Richard there and quickly puts two and two together. Elaine comes, and Trish attacks her before running off.
Gahan and Barbara do another ritual, this time to hook up Elaine and Griff permanently. Griff’s at the club, and he hears everyone talking about the town witches. Elaine shows up, and knows from DNA that she killed Wayne. She points out that Wayne died from heart failure, and Richard killed himself; she didn’t kill either of them. He says he doesn’t love her, but she’s not dissuaded.
Griff gets ready to arrest Elaine, but suddenly, the bar patrons start chanting “Burn the witch” and attack her. Later, at her place, she promises that everything will be OK as she hands him a drink– he dumps it and resists her influence. He lies back in bed, and she stabs him to death with a dagger, imagining him saying that he wants to marry her. As we flash back to their Renaissance fair “wedding,” she sits there with her knife.
Brian’s Commentary
The crazy camera angles and colorful sets and costumes reminded me of the old “Batman” TV series for some reason. Everything here looks colorful and beautiful, and the retro-emulation of old 60s movies is impeccable. On the other hand, all the characters talk in a weird, stilted manner that seems very much like either a comic book or a bad porno. For a long while, we weren’t sure which way this was going to go.
There are modern cars and computers in the background of some scenes, so it’s not necessarily set in the 60s, but it really tries hard to look like it. We were more than halfway through the film before we realized Richard and Officer Griff weren’t the same character; they look a lot alike.
This looks amazing, and they’ve really caught the aesthetic of old movies. The acting is weird, but it’s obviously intentional. It’s really good, although maybe a half-hour too long.
Kevin’s Commentary
The visuals were spot on, with retro shots, color schemes, and colorful lighting. Though it was weird that it was only selectively retro. And set in a world where witches and magic are real, and everyone just accepts it. While it’s interesting, this was so slow-moving and slow-paced that I felt like it could have been watched at 1.25x speed, and I wouldn’t have missed anything. I’d just rate it as okay overall.
2014 Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
Directed by: Matt Reeves
Written by: Mark Bomback, Rick Jaffa, Amanda Silver
Stars: Gary Oldman, Keri Russell, Andy Serkis
Run Time: 2 Hours, 10 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
About ten years have passed since the events of the first movie. Humanity is on the decline and apes are ascending. But Caesar is finding that apes are becoming more like humans too, which isn’t entirely a good thing. This one is more of the same with a good continuing story and lots of action. It’s on par with the first one.
Spoilery Synopsis
We hear news reports about the Gen Sys virus as we see flashbacks to the first film. We also hear about the ape escape. The plague goes badly, only 1 in 500 humans survive. Cities burn, and civilization falls. Credits roll.
Caesar leads a hunting party, but he’s attacked by a bear. Koba saves him. Caesar’s son, Blue Eyes, gets injured, but not badly. They’ve built a whole Ape City out in the hills. Maurice is teaching all the baby apes to read. Mrs. Caesar gives birth to a new baby, and they’re all pretty happy.
Caesar and Maurice talk about old times; they’ve come a long way. They wonder if all the humans are gone; it’s been ten years, and none have been sighted.
While hunting, Blue Eyes comes across a human in the woods, a human with a gun, who shoots Ash, Rocket’s son. The human, Carver, calls more humans, but they’re soon surrounded by a zillion apes. The human leader, Malcolm, talks to the apes and orders the men to put their guns down. “Go!” yells Caesar, and the men run, dropping a bag of stuff behind them.
Koba follows the men back across the Golden Gate Bridge into the city, where they report to Dreyfus, the leader. They went out to the woods to find the hydro dam so they could turn the power back on. They also talk about the apes speaking. None of the humans knew the apes had evolved.
Koba returns to the ape city and tells about the human town. Many of the apes want to attack them and finish them off. Caesar doesn’t want to fight anymore.
Soon, the ape army arrives outside what’s left of San Francisco. Malcolm goes out to talk to Caesar. “Apes do not want war, but will fight if we must” roars Caesar to the assembled crowd. Caesar makes it clear that the humans need to leave them alone.
Dreyfus reminds the humans that they have a huge stockpile of weapons, and the plague has burned out, so no one should worry. Lack of energy is their main problem, so they need that dam back in action.
Malcolm and Dreyfus know that the dam is really the only option. Malcolm wants to negotiate with Caesar. Dreyfus gives him three days before he takes armed men up to shoot the apes. Malcolm takes his wife, Ellie, and son, Alexander, along with him.
Malcolm soon finds Ape City. Malcolm shows Caesar and the ape leaders to the dam and explains what he wants to do. He wants to restore the dam to supply power to the city. The apes allow the work, but only if the humans give up their guns. Koba is not pleased with this plan, but he obeys Caesar. On the human side, Carver has thoughts just like Koba.
Mrs. Caesar is clearly sick after having her baby. The humans are taken to the dam for work. There’s a cave in, and the apes save the humans from certain death.
Koba scouts in the city, where Dreyfus is arming the humans for possible war. He gets cornered, but acts like a dumb monkey to throw the men off. Ellie is a doctor, and she helps Mrs. Caesar.
Koba returns to the dam and confronts Caesar, and he’s not so submissive this time, so Caesar beats the crap out of him. “Ape not kill ape,” says Caesar as he stops. A lot of the apes disagree with what Caesar’s been doing. Blue Eyes, Caesar’s son, agrees with Koba.
Koba does his “dumb monkey” routine and kills the first two human guards in the city. At the trucks, Koba kills Carver.
The humans soon get the power turned on, and Malcolm and Caesar are friends again. They can even see the lights from the city– it worked! Mrs. Caesar is feeling much better as well. It’s an all-around happy ending– but there’s another hour to go, that’s not gonna cut it.
Koba returns to Ape City and shoots Caesar and sets fire to the city. He has a human gun and blames the humans for killing Caesar. “Apes must attack human city! Fight back! Fight for Caesar!”
In the big city, all the humans are celebrating that the power is back on. Dreyfus has recharged his iPad and looks at old photos of his dead family. His men start transmitting on the radio, trying to call in other humans.
Suddenly, the apes attack the armory and get the weapons. Dreyfus sounds the alarm, but the apes have all the big guns now. The humans are entrenched and fortified, so the apes are getting cut down in the streets. Koba breaks down the doors with a captured tank.
Malcolm and his family have been hiding in the woods all night, and they come across Caesar, not quite dead after all. Ellie goes to work on him; all he cares about is his family. Malcolm assumes Carver shot Caesar, but the ape explains the truth of it.
One of the apes refuses to kill humans unnecessarily, so Koba kills him in front of everyone. Koba declares himself the leader and starts rounding up all the remaining humans.
Caesar hides the human family in the house he used to live in during the first film.
Malcolm runs into Blue Eyes and brings him to Caesar. Caesar tells him that Koba was the one who shot him. Ellie operates, and Caesar starts to recover. Maurice and Rocket are being held prisoner; Koba kills Ash. Blue Eyes returns to the prisoners and releases them– and the innocent humans.
The ape leaders all get together at Caesar’s old house and make plans. Malcolm goes to talk to Dreyfus, who has a plan to kill all the apes at once. Malcolm holds the others at gunpoint to give Caesar enough time to take care of Koba.
Caesar confronts Koba in front of all the apes and they soon begin fighting. It’s all very epic up on the construction tower. He reports that the radio men have made contact, and soldiers are coming.
Dreyfus presses the button, and the whole tower starts to explode and fall down, only partially because they were interrupted planting the explosives. Even as the building partially collapses, Koba doesn’t stop, killing more apes. Finally, Caesar drops him off the ledge.
Caesar realizes that the apes started the war, and the humans aren’t going to forgive and forget. He tells Malcolm to get his family out before human soldiers arrive and all-out war really begins.
Caesar’s still got his whole family– what’s he going to do now?
Brian’s Commentary
I find it unlikely that everything in the city would look so old after only ten or so years. The dam was all overgrown, rusty, and moldy. How does that happen so quickly?
As for the rest, it’s a logical progression after the first film. There are still lots of humans, but the apes have a slight edge now. The humans probably would've just been happy with their electricity if Koba hadn’t messed everything up; it’s all the apes’ fault this time.
I wouldn’t say the ape CGI is necessarily better in this one, but there’s a lot more of it, along with more ape characters. If you like the previous one, this is good too.
Kevin’s Commentary
This was a good one, continuing the story well. And of course, leaving it wide open for more to come. If it hasn’t been mentioned before, you should check out the original Planet of the Apes movies from the late 1960s and 1970s to see how they compare. The old and the new both have their entertainment value.
2006 I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer
Directed by: Sylvain White
Written by: Lois Duncan, Michael D. Weiss
Stars: Brooke Nevin, David Paetkau, Torry DeVitto
Run Time: 1 Hour, 32 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
Here we have a whole new set of young people who accidentally cause a death and decide to cover it up. Then a year later, someone knows what they did last summer and starts in on the stalking and killing. Who could it be? Probably not who you’d guess. This wasn’t an improvement on the previous movies. It was okay, but a step down.
Spoilery Synopsis
The movie opens to many people having fun at the carnival. On the Ferris wheel, Amber wants to hear the story about what always happens on the 4th of July, when The Fisherman kills teenagers. They all debate over whether it’s an urban legend or not. This is a ski town in Colorado in the summer, so there’s not much else happening. PJ is the son of the local sheriff, and he’s joined the army.
Suddenly, The Fisherman attacks, and scares all the teenagers. The Fisherman chases PJ off the roof. No, wait, it’s just Roger, who bought the costume on eBay as a prank. Except the padding that PJ was supposed to fall on got moved, and he’s dead for real because he fell on a tractor instead.
Amber wants to go to the police and tell them everything, but Zoe wonders if it was even really an accident. They all argue about what they did. Colby, Zoe, and Roger want to just keep quiet about the whole thing and let the town just think it was a crazy serial killer. Amber is hesitant, but she gives in to the group.
A year passes. Lance, PJ’s cousin, talks to Amber about why she’s still in town. Colby has returned from Las Vegas, and he didn’t tell Amber that his internship didn’t work out. She leaves him to go off and cry. Deputy Hefner runs into Amber and tells her to call him if she wants to talk.
That night at home, Amber finds a note from her parents, who are out of town. Then she gets fifty text messages on her phone: “I know what you did last summer.”
Amber goes to see Zoe, who isn’t much of a friend anymore, but they rekindle things. They go to see Roger, who repairs ski lifts at the resort. He doesn’t know anything. Afterward, they run into Sheriff Davis, PJ’s father, who says it’s going to be tough heading into the anniversary. Colton also says he’s kept quiet about the accident. Colton also receives a note.
Amber rides her bike up into the mountains, and someone sabotages it. She takes a ski lift back down the mountain, in a storm, and that’s tense. She sees the Fisherman on the roof of the cable car, fifty feet in the air.
Roger, on the other hand, is not dealing with all of this well. He drinks, takes drugs, and cries a lot. He also sees the Fisherman, but this time, is killed by him. Amber, Colton, and Zoe arrive and find the body. They also find a suicide note, but that doesn’t seem likely. Deputy Hafner catches them there, and they show him the note. He also puts the move on Amber again. When Amber goes home, all her photos have been shredded and some formed into the word “SOON.”
The next day, the group goes to see Lance. Lance says the sheriff has been hanging around asking questions. Could the sheriff be the killer? Colton leaves the sheriff a note, saying he knows what the sheriff is doing this summer. Zoe’s guitar gets vandalized. Lance tells Amber that he knows what they did last summer, and someone has vandalized his motorcycle. Colton is attacked at the pool, leaving him with a wounded leg.
The whole group, now including Lance, gather to discuss the problems. They all assume it’s the sheriff doing all this, so maybe they could tell the deputy. They all go to see Deputy Hafner at his house, but the sheriff and all the cops are there, so they don’t say anything.
It’s finally the Fourth, and Zoe is performing at a talent show, knowing agents will be there. Lance and Amber start getting close. The sheriff watches everyone ominously. Colby breaks into the bar and gets really drunk. After the show, the killer hooks Zoe.
The sheriff walks in and finds Zoe’s body as Lance and Amber hide. As they explain themselves, the killer kills the sheriff.
The killer chases Colby all around the kitchen, and he gets hooked right through the door. Deputy Hafner shows up, and he wants to know why they’re covered in blood. Hafner says he knows what they did last summer; Roger told him. Hafner kept it a secret to protect Amber.
Suddenly, the killer shows up and kills Hafner, who previously had been our main suspect. Amber steals the police car and rams the killer, who gets back up again. We get our first good look at him and he appears to be a zombie-monster to Amber now. “The legend has become true, it’s the guy from the original story!” Amber uses her own hook to injure the Fisherman, so maybe that might work.
Lance and Amber run to the ski resort where they use the hook and push him into a snowplow, which grinds him up.
One year later, Amber’s in Nevada and gets a flat tire and the Fisherman kills her…
Brian’s Commentary
So after all the serial-killing, the Fisherman turns out to be an actual supernatural monster? Scooby-Doo would not be pleased. This completely killed the whodunnit aspect of the film, since it wasn’t any of the main characters.
This one has none of the stars or characters from the previous films, it’s a whole new thing. Why is “The Fisherman” from the sea town in the previous films even a thing in a Colorado ski resort? There’s no fishing there.
The setting, a ski resort in summer, is interesting. Otherwise, there’s not much going for this one. Other than the initial accident, there’s only one death in the entire first hour, and only two of the original four conspirators die before the end anyway.
It’s not so good.
Kevin’s Commentary
So the ghost zombie of Ben, the killer from the previous movies, grew his hand back after he died. Then the fact that the kids used his likeness as a prank that resulted in the death of someone caused him to stalk them a year later to avenge the death of someone he never knew in a Colorado town far from the ocean. They didn’t even have to say his name three times. And he can teleport all over from place to place when he wants to but doesn't teleport away from getting ground up in the snowplow.
At least in the previous movies, there was a bit of figuring out who and why. I can see why they might have tried to shake things up a bit to avoid repetition, but I can’t say I’m very pleased. I’d say the three films have gone down a notch with each one.
Short Films:
2024 Short Film We Forgot About the Zombies
Directed by: Chris McInroy
Written by: Chris McInroy
Stars: Kyle Irion, Carlos Larotta, Jarrod Yerkes
Run Time: 3:43
Watch it:
What Happens
It’s the zombie apocalypse, and one of the two characters has been bitten; it doesn’t look good for him. They run into what appears to be a lab, with a table full of syringes marked “C__E.” Could this be the cure to the zombie infection?
Maybe, maybe not. Finding out is the fun part.
Commentary
I know after the first shot, I’d be slowing down on those injections. Still, it’s better than zombification, right? This is brilliantly paced, makes perfect sense, and is really, really funny.
2024 Short Film The Auteur
Directed by: Bethany White
Written by: Patrick Crellin, Bethany White
Stars: Paloma Anastacia, Patrick Crellin, Jordan Perry
Run Time: 8:38
Watch it:
What Happens
A man sits at his typewriter and gets to work on his script. As he types, we see his words take shape in the real world. He’s written the perfect, sexiest woman he can think of, and then he writes ways to terrorize and murder her. Sometimes, however, your characters can get away from you…
Commentary
The only complaint I have here is that there are several points at which I couldn't read what he was typing, and we were supposed to be able to follow along. It’s very suspenseful; there’s no real explanation, just weirdness. It looks good, it’s got a nice concept, and it’s just the right length.
Very well done!
2024 Short Film Teletubbies Horror: The Footage You Weren't Meant to See
Directed by: Nicolò Fumero
Written by: Nicolò Fumero, Francesco Lucci
Stars: Ciak Company
Run Time: 4:14
Watch it:
What Happens
In this classified government video, a person with voice-altering equipment tells us that the following footage was taken by a missing child who has never been found. It’s also obvious that this isn’t the first time this has happened to a missing child. Who could be behind the disappearances, and what is the strange being, Helios?
Commentary
The Teletubbies have always been pretty horrifying if you think about it, and the way this is filmed, in the found footage style, makes it even creepier, and funny as well.
Very creative!
2022 Short Film The Kid and the Camera
Directed by: Braiden Ortiz
Written by: Braiden Ortiz
Stars: Animated, Richard Stibbard
Run Time: 7:30
Watch it:
What Happens
Young Cailen is gifted a camera, and he absolutely loves it. He takes the camera with him everywhere and shoots everything he can, until an accident happens and the camera gets cracked. That night, unable to sleep, a strange fairy comes to his window and says he can fix the camera. What could go wrong?
Commentary
This is stop-motion animated, and not the smooth stuff we have today, but the janky, jerky style from the 1970s. This whole film is very retro, including VHS interference and overexposed images. I don’t remember this one from my childhood, but it looks like I should.
We had a pretty good idea where this was going, but it’s fun to watch it unfold. Very cool!
2018 Short Film In Sound, We Live Forever
Directed by: Joshua Giuliano
Written by: Joshua Giuliano
Stars: Torsten Johnson, Drew Marquardt, Eric Rice
Run Time: 11:43
Watch it:
What Happens
We open on a red truck, seen from a distance. As we zoom in, we hear two young people talking about music and making out. We don’t see them at all. We hear her point out that there’s someone watching them, then we hear them get ready to leave, and then we hear them being attacked. Then there’s the aftermath…
Commentary
I was expecting the camera to eventually pull away and show us old skeletons, and that the couple died a hundred years ago, in a plague or something, their voices recorded on the tape with the music. Nope, that wasn’t it at all.
This is really well done. We don’t see what happens through the first half of the story; we just hear them talking as we watch the truck and imagine what’s going on. The second half is pretty standard for a slasher/stalker film, but the lead-up to that is really good.
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