It’s “We Have Disney At Home” week here with the Horror Guys. This time, we’ll take a look at three recent “fairy tale” movies: “Screamboat” (2025), “The Ugly Stepsister” (2025), and “Peter Pan’s Neverland Nightmare” (2024). We’ll then watch the classic sci-fi alien invasion thriller, “Earth vs. the Flying Saucers” from 1956. We’ll then finish up the “Final Destination” series with the 2011 final installment (at least until later this month).
Hey– we just released “H.P. Lovecraft: The Biography.” It’s available exclusively at Amazon.
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Mainstream Films:
2025 The Ugly Stepsister
Directed by Emilie Blichfeldt
Written by Emilie Blichfeldt
Stars Lea Myren, Ane Dahl Torp, Thea Sofie Loch Naess
Run Time: 1 Hour, 49 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
This is a telling of “Cinderella” primarily from the viewpoint of one of the stepsisters. She’s fixated on the handsome prince, and she’s willing to take some extreme steps to become beautiful enough to catch his eye. What she goes through, and puts herself through, starts out horrifying and gets worse as things go along. The body horror is top notch, and we thought it was very good.
Spoilery Synopsis
We watch as Elvira reads a book of romantic writings and poetry by Prince Julian, and it’s clear she’s smitten with him. Rebekka, Elvira, and her sister, Alma, are moving to her mother’s new husband’s castle. Her new stepsister, Agnes, shows her around. Elvira’s wearing braces, so we know she’s the ugly stepsister. As the happy couple enjoy their wedding cake, old Otto suddenly coughs up blood and dies. Credits roll.
Agnes blames her father’s marriage on Rebekka’s money, but Rebekka married Otto for his money. There are already men there to repossess the castle. Elvira says she can get married to bring in some income, but Rebekka knows that’s not gonna happen, as she’s hopeless. But maybe they can improve her?
In the morning, they get notice that the king and Prince Julian are putting on a ball for the virgins of the countryside. Agnes gets right in, but Elvira gets hers under the name “Elvira von Stepsister.” Elvira wants to marry the prince, and she has fantasies.
The doctor talks about removing Elvira’s braces, but he doesn’t like her nose and wants to fix that. Rebekka offers to pay double… after the ball.
Oh, the surgery. That’s something. Wonking it with a chisel to break her nose and reshape it. Still, she has perfect teeth afterward. Later, we see her in a metal nose-brace. Miss Sophie welcomes them all to finishing school, where she gets put in the back of the dance class with the other ugly girls.
Agnes goes to visit her dead father, who still hasn’t been buried yet, and flies are everywhere. Elvira volunteers to do a dance for the class, and the teacher mocks her by saying she has wasted talent. The teacher prefers Agnes, who isn’t so ugly or fat.
The head of the school gives Elvira a tapeworm egg. If she swallows it, she’ll lose weight. Alma says, “You’re sick in the head.” Meanwhile, Agnes makes out with Isak, the stable boy. She loves him but she knows she needs to marry the prince.
Elvira runs into Prince Julian in the woods by accident. He’s pretty mean, and his pals are jerks, and she runs away. On the other hand, she still wants and fantasizes about him. She gets home in time to catch Agnes and Isak banging away in the barn. Elvira tells of course. When Rebekka hears about that, she sends Isak harshly away. She goes crazy over Agnes and puts her to work with the servants.
Three months pass, and Elvira has her metal nose brace removed. It all looks really good under there– and she’s thinner too! She goes back to the plastic surgeon, Dr. Esthetique, who sews on eyelash implants. There’s a great deal of screaming involved. Around this point, she’s taken to calling Agnes “Cinderella.”
Later, both Agnes and Elvira notice that Elvira’s hair is falling out. That night, Rebekka brings in a man with a big crate. “I’m your good fairy,” he says. He has a fancy dress for her in the crate; she’s going to get to dance for the prince after all. The dressmaker is all over Elvira, but Rebekka’s OK with that. Then he notices the hair loss as well, but he’s got a wig for her.
Agnes/Cinderella plans to go to the ball, but Elvira tears up her dress. She cries over her father’s still-rotting corpse until the ghost of her dead mother appears. The father bought a new dress, including shoes. The mother warns that at midnight, her coach will become a pumpkin.
It’s time for the ball, and Elvira arrives looking great. As all the eligible young women are introduced with great ceremony, the men there drool over them and talk lasciviously amongst themselves. She bows in front of the prince, whose jerk friends like her boobs. When she and her two classmates do their dance for him, he’s much more impressed with her. Throughout all this, Elvira’s stomach keeps gurgling; she never took the tapeworm antidote. All the men want to dance with her, but first, Prince Julian gets his dance with her.
In the middle of the dance, Cinderella/Agnes shows up, wearing a veil, and everyone stops to look at her, including the prince, who deserts Elvira for the newcomer. Elvira runs outside and pukes up a bunch of tapeworm eggs. Rebekka says there are lots of other great men in there and to pull herself together. She goes back to the dance, and it’s all pretty horrifying as a number of pretty awful men sweep and bounce her around the dance floor. Rebekka is making herself comfortable with some of the rich guys herself. Cinderella’s veil slips at one point and Elvira sees who the mystery woman is. Until the clock starts to strike midnight and Cinderella runs away, leaving one shoe behind. The prince declares that the woman whose foot fits that shoe will be his new wife.
Elvira goes home and threatens Agnes with a knife. “Give me that shoe!” She gets it, Agnes gets away, but the shoe clearly doesn’t fit. She looks at the butcher knife, knowing how to make her foot smaller. She measures carefully and then cuts off all her toes. She doesn’t swing quite hard enough, so they only come mostly off. Alma and Rebekka come in and say she’s cut the wrong foot. “The prince has the left shoe.” Rebekka picks up the knife and finishes the job so they match. Elvira, passed out, dreams of the prince putting the slipper on her feet, fitting perfectly.
In the morning, she hears the prince arrive outside, and her feet are two bloody messes. She drags herself down the steps, busting her mouth open, breaking her nose, and losing her wig in the process. Agnes walks right past her and goes to the prince. “It fits! I have found my princess!” Elvira hears the whole thing from the floor inside.
Elvira drinks the tapeworm antidote, and it has a really painful effect as it comes up and out. Alma grabs the end of it and pulls. And pulls. And pulls. It all finally comes out in one long gob after the string.
Alma sneaks into her mother’s room and takes her jewelry. Mom pauses fellating one of the rich men she brought home and watches her go.
“We have to cross the border before it gets dark,” Alma tells her sister. She helps Elvira onto the horse, and they ride off.
After the end credits, we cut back to Otto, who’s still lying dead on the dinner table, now just a rotting skeleton.
Brian’s Commentary
Did they even have braces in this time period? Probably not more than they had plastic surgery/rhinoplasty. They did, in fact, have tapeworms.
It’s essentially “Cinderella” from the point of view of one of the ugly stepsisters.
We get a lot of body horror here, as Elvira gets “improved” by the 19th century surgeon. It’s a little slow-moving, but it’s got things I’ve never seen in a horror film before, so it’s a winner!
Kevin’s Commentary
The science and medical technology are part of the fantasy telling of the tale. What that young woman puts herself through is something else. There are plenty of moments to wince and groan while watching. And then have it not matter in the end. I thought it was great, my favorite telling of Cinderella for sure.
2025 Screamboat
Directed by Steven LaMorte
Written by Matthew Garcia-Dunn, Steven LaMorte
Stars David Howard Thornton, Allison Pittel, Amy Schumaker
Run Time: 1 Hour, 42 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
They took another of the cartoon characters who have gone into the public domain and really embraced it, creating an origin story that explains the creation of the cartoon. The setting is great, on an actual decommissioned Staten Island ferry, and the whole package was entertaining. On the silly side of horror. We enjoyed it.
Spoilery Synopsis
Two workers are on the Staten Island Ferry, and Dominique hears something moving around deep inside. Neil says get used to it, as this boat is old. Back in the 1920s, the ferry ran on steam, and he’s stealing part of it that’s valuable for his retirement. They open a hatch and let a bunch of steam out. They hear whistling and realize they’re being attacked. It comes out of nowhere and steals his nose. It kills them both as credits roll.
We watch as an all-girls birthday party arrives at the ferry. We get to see the various characters and are reminded that New Yorkers are weird people. The captain gets a call that the trip is going to be delayed due to heavy fog in the harbor. The captain leaves anyway.
Homeless man Barry tells EMT Amber, “We’re all gonna die!” Pete, a deckhand, and Selena, a passenger, talk about her avoiding the birthday crew.
A guy in a Statue of Liberty costume gets killed by a tiny furry creature.
Selena talks to Amber about moving back home away from New York. The cop gets beaten to half to death with a hammer and dropped into the ship’s propeller as Selena watches. We finally get a good look at Steamboat Willie.
Selena tells Pete, Amber, and some other people. When she describes the killer, they all think she’s drunk. Meanwhile, Willie kills the captain. Willie then recreates a certain iconic scene from a very old cartoon as he steers the ship around in circles.
When the crew figures out that the captain is dead and they’re off course, they argue over who’s in charge. Amber sees Willie kill two of the birthday partiers. She goes to Selena to tell her that she was right. Pete joins in and tells about the captain.
Pete moves everyone down to the lower level for safety. The majority of the passengers get locked into a room together down there and they soon see Willie as well. He turns the hose on all of them and then watches them electrocute.
Pete, Amber, and Selena hide and make a plan. They join up with two more survivors, Moses and Mateo. They find old Barry, who’s dying. “You’re all going to die!” He tells them about Steamboat Willie, an old legend from the days of steam. He’s lurked in the underbelly of the ship for decades. He was a kindhearted mouse that everyone called “Willie” who used to be a friend of a man named Walt, but then Willie went evil over the years.
Cindy, the final party girl, soon sobers up enough to figure out what’s going on, but Willie harpoons her at the same time.
The group needs to go down to the lower levels to find some flares. Selena and now-Captain Pete have a moment. They run into Dominique, who survived the opening credit scene, and she talks about how they’re losing power.
Turns out, Dominique has always been on Willie’s side and turns against the people. As she puts on a helmet with huge mouse ears, she explains that Willie has a mission, to find someone out there lost at sea, and nothing’s going to stand in his way.
Amber and Selena gang up on the little evil mouse, but the flares aren’t there.
Dominique has all the flares. “Our world is the happiest place on Earth.” Willie doesn’t care, as he kills her too. Moses shoots a flare at the mouse, which blows up the engines, and now the boat is sinking.
Willie kills Pete next, which traumatises Selena. Selena finds an old photo of Willie and his girlfriend, and she gets an idea. Willie is about to kill Amber and Matteo when Selena shows up, dressed like a sexy mouse to trick him. Then she whacks him with a huge cartoonishy oversized mallet.
Willie is about to push Selena overboard when he has flashbacks to his own shipwreck when he lost his girl and helps her back aboard. She stabs him in the head with scissors, and he finally goes overboard.
“Still beats tunnel traffic,” Amber jokes as a boat comes to rescue them. “If this doesn’t make you a New Yorker, nothing will,” she tells Selena.
We cut to a pile of trash on the beach. Willie is there, and he wakes up to start whistling again. His lost girlfriend finds him…
Brian’s Commentary
This, of course, is another film based on Steamboat Willie, which went into the public domain not long ago. The thing with the real-life Willie is that he doesn’t really have any kind of backstory or mythology; he’s little more than a whistling cartoon character, so the filmmakers were free to do pretty much anything they wanted with the concept. The party girls are all named after Disney Princesses Cindi (Cinderella), Ariana (Ariel), Jazzy (Jasmine), Bella (Belle), Ilsa (Elsa), and Rory (Aurora), so Willie gets his revenge on all of them.
This was filmed on an actual, decommissioned Staten Island Ferry. There are normally ten boats that cover that route, and the trip usually takes about twenty minutes.
Willie is a small puppet about half of the time, but in close-ups, he’s played by David Howard Thornton, of “Terrifier” fame. And in those scenes, he’s essentially a furrier version of Art the Clown, and the kills are similarly over the top.
It’s goofy but not too bad!
Kevin’s Commentary
I liked that it was loaded with dark humor, with a creature that had cartoon powers, which led to the cartoon. It was pretty clever, I thought. The cast is decent; the effects are quite good. I thought it was a fun watch.
2025 Peter Pan's Neverland Nightmare
Directed by Scott Chambers
Written by J.M. Barrie, Scott Chambers
Stars Megan Placito, Martin Portlock, Kit Green
Run Time: 1 Hour, 29 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
This version has Wendy, Peter Pan, and Tinkerbell in one messed up real world take on the magical tale. It’s a grim piece of work that really does bring out the horror elements from the story. It’s far, far from a Disney tale. We were impressed and would recommend it.
Spoilery Synopsis
We hear about what a wonderful place Neverland is, without parents to ruin the fun. The man closes the book and tells the young boy that it’s time for him to go to Neverland. We cut to “Missing” posters for the boy…
At the circus, we watch a creepy clown scoping out all the little boys in the audience. Later, young James finds the clown in the trapdoor under the floor; he’s got a major “It” vibe going on. The clown’s name is Peter, and he’s very friendly and invites James to a very special place. James’s mother comes in and kicks the clown in the face before grabbing a knife. The two have a major knife fight and battle in the kitchen until he… scalps her. James does, in fact, get sent to Neverland.
Fifteen years later, Wendy’s mother nags at her about not going to college because of some guy that she likes. She’s also forgotten that it’s her little brother Michael’s birthday.
We cut to a worn out looking person shooting up with “Pixie Dust” until told by a deformed man, “It’s time to collect.” The deformed man then goes to the store and picks out a Halloween mask. He stabs the store clerk repeatedly.
Michael has a bike “accident” on the way home and sees a strange “Come to Neverland” van parked in the woods. (Where did the bike come from since Wendy drove him in the morning?) The man in the mask grabs him and throws him in the back of the van. Wendy stops at school to pick him up, but he’s already gone.
Later, we see Peter bringing some food to Michael, who’s locked in a creepy playroom. He takes off the mask, and he’s a scarred-up mess. They play hide and seek in the nasty, mannequin-filled hideout.
Wendy and her mother know about Peter Pan; he’s back. He enlists her friend, Mel, and Michael’s friend, Joey, to help ask the families of other abductees about their stories. One man tells about his son little Timmy, who was obsessed with fairies before he went missing.
Peter kills an entire school busload of Michael’s friends out in the woods.
Timmy is now grown up, Tinkerbell, and she’s scary too. “I was the first to be chosen. I’m a fairy.” Michael seems to understand all too well what’s really going on.
Wendy goes to stay with Mel and her family. Peter shows up and stabs Mel and her family as Wendy watches from her room. He takes Joey with him this time, but Wendy follows in her car.
Wendy gets into the house and sees Peter chasing Joey around. She goes looking for Michael and runs into Tinkerbell, who tells her where to go. Tinkerbell and Peter talk about whether he’s hurting or saving the boys.
Wendy calls Tinkerbell “Timmy,” and then Tinkerbell changes sides. Wendy and Michael sneak through the house, looking for Joey. Peter gets really angry with Tinkerbell, but this is gonna be the last time. Meanwhile, Michael calls the police.
Wendy pushes Joey out the window, but she goes back for Michael. She runs into a really gnarly-looking prisoner chained in the basement. It’s James from the opening sequence, and he’s got a hook where his hand ought to be.
Peter and Wendy fight in the kitchen as Tinkerbell has some final words for her, “Don’t give up.” She grabs a syringe of Pixie Dust off the counter and stabs him in the neck with it. That slows him down.
The two fight on and on, and it’s all very bloody. “Captain Hook” comes into the room and drags Peter off into the darkness as the police finally show up outside.
Michael has a big birthday party the following year, until Wendy gets a phone call from Peter…
Brian’s Commentary
This takes place in the same universe as “Pooh: Blood and Honey” and its sequels. At work, one of Wendy’s friends mentions going camping, and she’s one of the campers in that film. Joey’s wearing a T-Shirt advertising the movie as well.
This really wasn’t what I expected at all. I was expecting some kind of horrific take on Neverland, but it was just a real-world slasher/child abduction story with a few weird twists. There’s nothing magical or supernatural at all here. Still, it’s not bad for what we do get.
Kevin’s Commentary
This was so much better than I expected it to be. It’s horrible and grim. An excellent example of real-world horror, without magic or monsters, just people doing awful things. The cast is good, the effects are realistic-looking, and the direction is well done. I was impressed, more than Brian was.
1956 Earth Vs. The Flying Saucers
Directed by Fred F. Sears
Written by Bernard Gordon, George Worthing Yates, Curt Siodmak
Stars Hugh Marlowe, Joan Taylor, Donald Curtis
Run Time: 1 Hour, 23 Minutes
Watch it:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
This was a very fun 50s science fiction action flick. It was made before Sputnik, the first satellite, and it’s interesting seeing what they thought the future was going to be like. Plus a flying saucer invasion! The effects are quite good for the era, the story is decent, and the cast is good. It’s a little campy, but they’re all taking it very seriously and there’s quite a body count. Our only complaint is an ending that’s a bit abrupt, but we liked it overall.
Spoilery Synopsis
Man has always speculated on the existence of life on other worlds. We see news reports of UFO sightings all over the world. The military goes on alert, ready to fire on any UFOs they spot. It might be… Earth Versus the Flying Saucers! Credits roll.
Dr. Russell Marvin rides in the car and dictates a letter to the Defense Department. He’s been married to Carol for two hours, and she still calls him “Dr. Marvin.” He explains that humanity is ready to start exploring outer space. We get stock footage of real rockets and hear about futuristic things called “satellites” that we are about to launch. Suddenly, a flying saucer appears over the car, and they pull over. When it flies away, they both doubt what they saw.
Back at the lab, they notice that the tape recorder picked up the sound of the flying saucer, so it must’ve been real.
General Hanley, Carol’s father, arrives at the base to talk to Russell about cancelling the rocket launch. It’s too late, and the rocket blasts off. The general points out that they’ve launched multiple satellites, but they’ve all fallen back to Earth. Russell thinks someone is shooting them down; he tells the old man what they saw. They get a report that Number Eleven has lost contact.
The next day, they launch Number Twelve, but this time, they load on cameras and video feeds to see what happens. They get a report of a UFO approaching, and everyone sees it this time. It lands there at the base, and someone gets out. The army shoots him, but the others are behind a force field. When the spacemen shoot back, the whole Jeep, soldiers included, vanishes.
The aliens start shooting, and the buildings all over the launch base start exploding. The general is captured, and the aliens speak to him. They tried to talk to Russell, but he didn’t understand them. He refuses to tell them anything, but they have a mind probe that can access his brain directly.
Meanwhile, Russell and Carol are buried in the lab, and they assume everyone outside has been killed. The battery in the tape recorder is dying, and he finally understands the alien’s message as it plays at a slow speed. They tried to come in peace, but he didn’t understand the message because it was sped up so much.
There’s a whole government investigation, and the two survivors explain it all. Russell wants to try to contact the aliens and make peace before it gets any worse. Major Huglin is assigned to keep an eye on Russell. The government tells him to wait before contacting the aliens, but he does it anyway. The aliens want to meet him, but he’s under house arrest until the investigation is over.
Carol doesn’t want Russell to go, so she calls Huglin, who comes after Russell. This leads to a car chase. He arrives at a landed saucer and approaches. The aliens invite the whole group, including the traffic cop, inside. The aliens explain that they’ve taken off using magnetic fields, which also alter the way time works for them and the humans on board.
The aliens misunderstood the satellite launch, thinking they were weapons. They’ve come from a destroyed planet, and their entire fleet is circling the globe. They want to talk to the world leaders about a permanent landing site. They don’t want to cause panic; they want to be invited. General Hanley walks out, now a zombie; his knowledge has been drained. The aliens show their power, and they could wipe us out easily. They give Earth 56 days to arrange a conference.
Russell talks to the generals about the meeting and his idea of building an ultrasonic gun to fight them. The professor suggests a way to disrupt the alien’s magnetic devices. A saucer lands outside, and they get a chance to try their new weapon. Zap! It drives off the saucer, but it leaves one of the aliens behind, which destroys the weapon. Huglin shoots it with bullets, and that seems to work. They pull off the alien’s mask and see what they really look like under the helmet. The aliens then drop the general and the traffic cop out the door, and they fall to their deaths.
Using the captured helmet, the army decodes the alien’s language and starts listening to the alien transmissions.
The aliens broadcast a message to everyone, everywhere. They’re going to disrupt the sun to demonstrate their power, and then they expect a full surrender. The aliens will be landing in DC, so they get working on evacuating the city.
The aliens attack, and the human soldiers get ready. Surface-to-air missiles don’t seem to do much to the UFOs. Russell uses his sonic weapon, and he shoots down one of the saucers. There’s a saucer hovering over the White House, and they shoot it down as well. The aliens then just start blowing up buildings and landmarks all over town, even the Washington Monument and the Capitol building get crashed into.
They signal the all-clear, and everyone comes out to assess the damage. We cut to Russell and Carol at the beach. The aliens have been defeated, and the space program can continue without interference. “Will they come back again?” “Not on such a nice day!”
Brian’s Commentary
This was the year before Sputnik, so satellites and space launches were all science fiction at this point. For 1956, the special effects here are really noteworthy; Ray Harryhausen did the flying saucers, and everything looks really cool.
It’s got its hokey bits, but for the most part, everyone plays it completely seriously, and it all seems fairly realistic. From the name of the film alone, I was expecting a lot more camp and silliness.
The ending is a bit abrupt. I guess they just shot down all the saucers. This might have been more effective if we’d known how many saucers there were or that the aliens were running out of ships. Other than the quick ending, it was really very good!
Kevin’s Commentary
The special effects and sets were pretty cool in this. It’s a great example of 50s science fiction that holds up pretty well for fun and entertainment. I always like seeing visions of what the future was going to be like from decades ago. We watched a colorized version that looked really sharp. I’d recommend it.
2011 Final Destination 5
Directed by Steven Quale
Written by Eric Heisserer, Jeffrey Reddick
Stars Nicholas D’Agosto, Emma Bell, Arlen Escarpeta
Run Time: 1 Hour, 32 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
This was another 3D production, which we saw in 2D, but clearly was being geared to make the most of the effect. It’s better than the 4th movie and almost as good as the first three. And they introduced a couple extra goodies that were interesting. We liked it okay.
Spoilery Synopsis
Things come flying out of the screen at us at the credits roll, so this was obviously shot in 3D.
Sam is an overachiever, making a big, fancy breakfast for the whole sales team. They’re getting ready to leave for a team-building exercise. Peter jokes that he’s getting ready to fire Sam. Molly tells Sam that she’s breaking up with him. Peter’s banging Candice, the intern. Olivia comes to the business outing dressed like a slut. Isaac the nerd wants to get with Molly. Dennis, the boss, is straight out of “Glengarry Glen Ross,” a major A-hole. Nathan lets his underlings yell at him for going to the retreat. The whole group gets on the bus.
The bus passes a log truck. The sign mentions that the bridge is under construction. Sam looks out the window at the various death traps on the elevated bridge. Sam knows something is wrong as the bridge starts to crack apart, and everyone runs for it. Candace gets impaled on a sailboat. Isaac doesn’t make it out of the bus. Molly walks across a suspended beam, but Olivia can’t see because she lost her glasses and falls to her death. Nathan and Dennis get it next. Sam and Peter leap to safety as the rest of the bridge collapses. Peter gets multi-killed and Sam doesn’t fare any better.
Sam jerks awake on the bus and knows what’s going to happen. He yells to the others that the bridge is going to collapse and they’re all gonna die! Most of the named characters follow Sam to bring back Molly. When the bridge starts going haywire, they’re already off the bus and have a head start this time.
Later, Agent Block wants to know how Sam knew it was going to happen. Sam explains it was a vision, but Block thinks Sam might have been in on a terrorist plot. Still, he has to let Sam go. The bus people are known in the news as “The Lucky Eight.”
At the funeral, old coroner Bludworth is there. “Death doesn’t like to be cheated.”
Sam goes to see Molly; he works a second job as a chef and talks about moving to Paris.
Peter goes to see Candace, who’s in a gymnastics competition. She complains about the broken air conditioner, but it’s her turn. The camera zooms in on various mundane things, but we know that something’s going to happen. As she does her thing on the balance beam, water drips on a bad extension cord, the AC vibrates ridiculously, and we see a screw standing up on the balance bar. She narrowly avoids all those things and moves onto the uneven bars, where she breaks herself in half with a big splat.
Peter and Sam talk about what happened. Sam sees Bludworth loitering nearby. The next day, everyone’s at the office.
Isaac leaves early to go to the spa, and we know that’s gonna be bad. He’s a perv and makes that clear, so the receptionist hooks him up with a grouchy old woman for his massage. She gives him a really violent massage, but he acknowledges it feels good after. Then she brings out the acupuncture needles– lots of them. She leaves, and then a fire suddenly starts. He rolls over and falls on all those needles before knocking over a huge bottle of alcohol. That doesn’t kill him, a huge stone Buddga crushes his head instead.
The group hears about the latest death and talks to Bludworth, who is the coroner. He tells them he’s seen this kind of thing before and tells them how these events work. He suggests that if they kill someone, then Death will be appeased, and they might survive. They’ll get the time that the person who died prematurely has left.
Meanwhile, Olivia is at the eye doctor for a LASIK surgery. The doctor fixes her down on the table and clips her eyes open. The doctor goes out for her file, and we see more water and electricity mishaps in progress. The surgery machine goes into overload, and the laser goes berserk. That doesn’t kill her, but then she falls out the window to her death.
Agent Block is there now, investigating the pattern of all the deaths. Sam tells Block about their theory about Death coming for them. Sam tells Molly that Nathan ought to be next.
We cut to Nathan, watching the workers at the plant with his security system. We see that the plant isn’t up to OSHA standards. Roy, the troublemaker, gets what’s coming to him, but Nathan is OK. Was that a death trade, the way Bludworth explained it? Nathtan might be off the hook now. He got the time that Roy would have had left.
Peter tells Dennis, the boss, about what’s been going on. “It’s going to happen to us if we don’t do something about it.” Dennis calls Agent Block and tells him about Peter being unstable.
Peter talks to Nathan and the others. If Nathan is off the hook, then Dennis– nope, too late. He gets a very fast wrench through the head, out of the blue, as they speak.
Sam goes to his second job, working in the kitchen with the chefs, and it looks like a dangerous place as well. He’s afraid of the meat tenderizer and all the pointy, sharp things in the kitchen. He makes it through the night and accepts the job the chef offered him… in France. After hours, he talks to Molly in the restaurant when Peter knocks on the door.
Peter’s next on the death list, and he knows it. He knows that committing a murder will save his own life, and he decides to do it. He’s run into many easy opportunities, but he just couldn’t do it. He thinks it’s unfair that Molly is going to live and pulls a gun on her. Sam knocks him down, and they all play cat-and-mouse in the kitchen as Agent Block comes inside.
Peter shoots Block to death, so now it’s Sam’s turn. Now he has to kill Molly, who witnessed everything. Sam jumps in and attacks Peter in the more and more dangerous kitchen. The gun falls on the burner and starts heating up. Sam stabs Peter from behind; does he count since he was going to die anyway? The gun explodes harmlessly, so yes, that counts.
Sam and Molly get on the plane to France. We see the cast of the first film being dragged off the plane. That guy had a premonition that this plane was going to crash… It’s Flight 180 from 2000, and yes, they’re all gonna die!
The plane explodes, as we knew it would. We cut to Nathan at Roy's wake. Nathan learns that Roy was going to die any time anyway from an aneurysm. Nathan didn’t get much time after all. A chunk of the plane falls on the building, killing him.
We then get a montage of all the deaths from all five films.
Brian’s Commentary
This one adds the idea that murder might be a way to cheat Death. It also adds a little twist at the end that makes this a prequel to the first film.
It was better than the previous film, on par with the first three. It was fine!
Kevin’s Commentary
I’d seen a spoiler ahead of time that it had a twist that it was actually a prequel, but I still thought that was a clever way to do things. Like Brian said, it’s back on track in line with the quality of the first three, maybe not quite as good, but better than the fourth. And the idea of offering another death in place of your upcoming one was interesting. I thought it was worth watching.
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