We’ve got several new-ish films this week. We’ll start off with “The Bride!,” then visit “Souls Chapel.” We’ll try to get lost with “Ready or Not 2: Here I Come” and then hide again from “Dolly.” Lastly, we’ll look at 2015’s “Muck,” which we have strong opinions about.
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Mainstream Films:
2026 The Bride!
Directed by: Maggie Gyllenhaal
Written by: Maggie Gyllenhaal
Stars: Jessie Buckley, Christian Bale, Peter Sarsgaard, Annette Bening, Jake Gyllenhaal, Penélope Cruz
Run Time: 126 minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
In the 1930s, the Creature asks Dr. Euphronious to make him a Bride. It works, but they don’t realize she’s a murdered woman which causes complications when elements from her past life cross over. Plus, she’s a radical and feminist getting things fired up. It’s sort of Bonnie and Clyde meets horror meets weird romance. There’s a lot of humor and strangeness, and it’s entertaining, after a few minutes at the beginning, which was a questionable start. We both liked it much more than we disliked it.
Spoilery Synopsis
Mary Shelley comes onscreen and tells us that she didn’t write what she really wanted to; that was too much for the time. Now, she’s in Purgatory or something and wants to get the story out of her head.
The story begins with Ida, who is bored at a party. She seems to be possessed by Mary Shelly, who is using her to tell the story. She makes a major scene at the restaurant and gets thrown out. She then falls down the stairs and dies. Credits roll.
In Chicago, Frank, aka Frankenstein’s Creature, comes to see Dr. Euphronious, who knows who he is. She examines him and is thrilled. He doesn’t want any kind of treatment at the institute, he’s here for “an intercourse.” Yes, he wants her to “reinvigorate” him a bride. He’s become very impatient over the many years since he was created.
“I thought you were a mad scientist,” he says, which wins her over. Soon, they’re out digging up graves. Frank thinks the body they picked is too beautiful, but they can’t dig up more, so they go ahead. They throw the switch, sparks fly, and all the meters go off the scale.
The Bride sits up and thinks she had too much absinthe last night; she’s weird. They explain that she’s to marry Frank, but surprisingly, the bride doesn’t remember him at all.
Suddenly, Mary Shelley butts in and talks to the bride in her mind. Not long after, the bride and Frank break out of the lab, go to a movie and the red light district. She knows all the dance moves, but Frank’s not a dancer– but he does have an imagination. She dances most of the night, but eventually, her dance partners get carried away and Frank has to step in, violently.
Soon, the pair are on the run from the gangsters about the two men Frank just killed. He says he’s been through all this before, and there’s gonna be a mob. He doesn’t want the bride mixed up in all this, but she’s got nowhere else to go.
A couple of detectives, Wiles and Malloy, start investigating the murder, whose suspect looks like Frankenstein’s monster. Soon, “Frankenstein and his bride” are the headlines in the newspaper.
She wants the two of them to have sex, but he’s missing an important piece of the necessary equipment. They arrive in New York City, hoping to see Frank’s favorite movie star, Ronnie Reed. They’re quickly recognized as “The Killer Monsters,” and start a riot, complete with angry villagers and torches.
Frank and his bride crash a party, grab some food, and manage to spot Ronnie Reed, who is one of the guests. They have a conversation that’s very confusing for poor Ronnie. This soon turns into a dance number with “Puttin on the Ritz.”
The detectives storm in, and Wiles recognizes the bride. The bride recognizes Wiles. She grabs a gun and takes Ronnie as a hostage. She uses the opportunity to tell the police that the mob boss is paying off cops and killing women. She shoots a cop, and they escape.
They go on the run, and he gets her name tattooed on his chest. They have sex (I guess) repeatedly. Women all over the country start painting their faces like the bride’s face-marks. “Brain attack” is their new battlecry, causing mayhem everywhere as women revolt.
Lupino, the mob boss, recognizes the bride as Ida, a woman he had killed. Her killers swear they did the job, but he obviously knows they didn’t.
Detective Molloy realizes that the criminal pair has only been to places where Ronnie’s films took place. She wants credit if they solve this case, but he makes it clear that that’s not going to happen. She knows something is off about Wiles.
Frank makes up a whole story about his and the bride’s engagement. They get pulled over by an abusive cop, and Mary Shelley tells the bride to take care of him. She bites his tongue out but gets shot in the process, a minor wound.
Detective Wiles catches up to the monsters and calls the bride “Ida.” He says he got her into all this. Frank approaches him, and Moloy shoots him. Ida/The Bride then shoots Wiles in the foot and they run off. Wiles explains his connection to Ida to Molloy, but the hitman overhears the whole story. He’s a crooked cop, but he’s not all bad. He resigns and gives Molloy his badge.
Frank feels bad about lying to Ida about her past, and he also comes clean about their history. Molloy loiters outside the car and overhears his story. “I am a monster.” “Yeah, so am I.” They profess their love for each other, and he proposes to her. She refuses, which he finds hilarious. Then the police show up and kill Frank. The bride throws him in the car, and they have a high-speed chase with the cops.
The Bride and Mary talk about her identity. She drives them back to Dr. Euphonius, to patch Frank up. Both Molloy and the hitman follow them to the lab. There’s an over-the-top firefight, and the bride is shot umpteen times. She falls onto Frank’s corpse and dies.
Molloy takes charge, clears the cops out, and tells the doctor to take as much time as she needs to clean things up. Dr. Euphronius gets back to work; she can fix them.
Brian’s Commentary
For the first ten minutes, I was already mostly expecting this to be the first of over two thousand-plus movies that we didn’t finish. It did pick up fairly quickly though, and we did finish it.
It’s a remake of “Bride of Frankenstein” (1935), obviously. Mary Shelley makes an appearance in that film as a narrator, but that’s totally unnecessary and distracting here.
“Puttin on the Ritz” may have been a little too on-the-point, as I saw it coming an hour before it happened. Overall, though, the soundtrack is very good here.
It looks great, it’s very stylish, and it doesn’t get boring. It seems to go “weird for the sake of weird” several times, which you may or may not appreciate. There are some good laugh-out-loud parts, but it’s not a comedy. Christian Bale, as Frank, is outstanding here, but I did not care for Jessie Buckley’s The Bride, at all. I warmed up to her a bit before the end, but I think they could have done better with casting.
Overall, I’d say it was quite good, but I had some issues.
Kevin’s Commentary
After a start that had me grimacing in displeasure, it gets past that and into a really entertaining movie. It took a while, but I warmed up to Jessie Buckley at The Bride.
It’s not a perfect movie, but I liked it quite a bit.
2026 Souls Chapel
Directed by: Jake C. Young
Written by: Jake C. Young
Stars: Brian Bremer, Jake C. Young, Adrianna Curtsinger
Run Time: 1 Hour, 23 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
A young drifter seeking treasure encounters demonic forces and a church that isn’t too holy. It’s set in a post-war-apocalyptic time, retro and modern at the same time, with a steampunk vibe. We both thought it was very well put together, but it was on the slow side and could have used more action. It’s a moderate thumbs-up from both of us.
Spoilery Synopsis
We are told about the origin of evil. We then cut to a man chopping up a body and doing some kind of ritual with it. He then hides a box in the woods and kills himself. Credits roll.
The Drifter tells us that time passes differently now that the world has moved on as he walks through a ghost town. He runs into a priest dressed in red with a gas mask who explains about the talisman he just picked up. Apparently, people did some really bad things back in the day. The weird priest gives the drifter a mission.
The drifter then goes to a weird church where he’s offered coffee. The priest, Red, is insistent about the coffee. Red introduces Sister Agatha. There’s a “Soul Storm” coming, and Jim mentions he hasn’t seen anyone on the road to town.
The drifter shows Red a drawing of the thing he’s looking for. Jim says he just wants the treasure. Soon, there’s a fight with their steampunk guns, and the drifter is knocked out. Red gives the drifter 24 hours to confess his crimes against humanity.
The drifter, chained up, has a vision of the woman in white, probably some kind of witch. Agatha tries to ingratiate herself with the drifter to get more information out of him. The talisman led them all to this place. Red used to have the mark of the talisman on his hand, but now the drifter has it.
Red gets a vision and finds the treasure chest. There’s gold and a newspaper article about seven strangers who showed up in this city. Meanwhile, the drifter talks to Father Moore, another prisoner in the town jail. He says they’re safer in jail than outside because night is coming. Jim comes in and talks about getting captured by the Skeezers during the war.
We cut to the white witch, who does a ritual and conjures up a monster. The monster then quickly kills the schoolboy.
Agatha and Red then torture the drifter to find out who killed the schoolboy. Jim talks to himself in a mirror and decides to turn against the others.
The drifter escapes his chains and explores. He finds a room full of heads in jars. He also finds newspaper accounts of the former priest here sacrificing seven people.
The drifter confronts Agatha and Red, and Agatha kills Red. She wakes up Jim and splits the gold with him. No– they forgot about the monster, who kills them both. Meanwhile, the drifter finds the talisman he’s been looking for. The dead rise.
The drifter, with his talisman, runs into the white witch, with hers. He banishes her. The red priest shows up again and takes the talisman. At least he’s got a bag of gold now. The drifter laughs and moves on…
Brian’s Commentary
It’s got the moody, atmospheric post-apocalyptic, sorta-steampunk landscape done well. The sound, costumes, and lighting are well done, better than most indie films of this budget. The pacing, on the other hand, is really slow and could have used more action.
Kevin’s Commentary
“Smells like pigs liver and sacrifice.” That’s very specific.
I liked the retro look with the steampunk vibe. It’s well put together, I thought, and interesting. Jake C. Young, doing triple duty as writer, director, and main character, did a good job. My only real complaint is how slow-moving and low-action it is. But I liked it much more than I disliked it.
2026 Ready or Not 2: Here I Come
Directed by: Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett
Written by: Guy Busick and R. Christopher Murphy
Stars: Samara Weaving, Kathryn Newton, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Shawn Hatosy, David Cronenberg, and Elijah Wood
Run Time: 1h 45m
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
But wait, the game isn’t over. Picking up immediately where the first “Ready or Not” movie ended, Grace and her sister (a new character) find themselves forced into the next level. The rules are clearly explained, new players enter the contest, and there’s a new site for the hunting fun. It probably wasn’t a necessary sequel, but it was really fun. And Kevin enjoyed it at least as much as the first film.
Spoilery Synopsis
Immediately after the events of the first film, Grace sits down as the house burns and explodes behind her. The EMTs load her onto the ambulance as credits roll. As they shock her chest, we get flashbacks to the previous movie.
Grace wakes up in the hospital, cuffed to the bed; she’s suspected in several murders. Faith comes in; she’s Grace’s estranged sister. Faith says Grace is a negative person. Grace eventually explains her game of “Hide and Seek” that involved devil sacrifices.
Meanwhile, old man Chester Danforth creates the news. Mr. Le Bail’s lawyer shows up with news about the now-dead family. Danforth decides to summon his children, since the game is not over. We see various characters getting their notifications. “This is our chance!” Chester tells his twin kids Ursula and Titus that the ball is still in play and they need to win to keep their power and success. The game starts with them murdering their father, Chester.
On the way out of the hospital, the detective in charge is killed by Bill Wilkinson, one of the early arrivals. As Bill closes in to kill Grace, he explodes like a water balloon of blood. The lawyer comes in, and he knows all about the devil and his rules - Bill died because he tried to start early.
Usulla and Titus head out to their “lodge” and welcome all the freaky relatives. The lawyer flies in with the two sisters, tied up and ready for the game to begin. Mr. Le Bail’s lawyer enters, and everyone pays attention. He explains the situation, the reward, and the rules. The stakes are higher this time. All she has to do is survive until dawn as the rest of the families try to kill her. Whichever family does kill her will wear the ring, and basically have so much power they control the world. There are five main hunters, but if they die, the next generation of relatives will have to join in.
The game begins. Faith and Grace wake up handcuffed to each other on the golf course. Ursula and Titus approach on a golf cart, Wan Chen Xing uses a drone to find the girls. Ignacio shoots a propane tank that almost kills Viraj.
The girls hide in the abandoned casino that’s on the property and talk about their history. Viraj makes it inside first, and he fights the girls, who have broken their handcuffs. He ends up cooked in an industrial washing machine. Mahdu, Viraj’s brother, is ordered into the field but chooses to send his own wife, Martina, instead.
Wan Chen Xing reveals herself and says there’s a loophole in the agreement that would take the power away from the Danforths. The only trick is that Grace will have to marry Wan Cheng Fu. She would be spared, and he would have the power. Wan says her son is dumb but kind and would be better for the world than the Danforths. Wan ends up accidentally stabbing Ignacio, and he’s not getting back up again. Rules broken, Wan Cheng explodes in a bloody mess; so does her son.
Titus and Ursula ambush the girls at the front date, just as Martina drives her car through the gate and escapes. This leads to more drama between the two sisters and the surviving players. Francesca shows up with a rocket launcher, but doesn’t know how to use it. Grace and Francesca both get splattered and blinded with pepper spray and have to fight blind. Meanwhile Faith faces off against Titus. It looks pretty bad for both of them.
Grace wins her fight, but Titus takes Faith as a hostage. Grace offers to marry Titus to save Faith and explains the loophole to him. The lawyer nods that this is true. Ursula doesn’t like this at all, since it eliminates her from the power position.
Suddenly, there’s about to be a wedding. Ursula comes to Grace and talks about how terrible her brother is. Titus comes in and kills Ursula, which doesn’t break the rules - they can kill their own family members, just not other families.
The wedding commences, attended by everyone we’ve seen so far and a crowd of cultists. The lawyer calls on Mr. Le Bail to witness. The wedding actually goes through and finishes. It’s all good until Grace stabs Titus with the sharp, pointy pen. It’s not against the rules to kill a family member, as Titus proved with Ursula.
Grace wins. She puts on the ring and takes over. She then immediately abdicates. Whoever’s wearing the ring at dawn, in three minutes, will be the new leader. She throws the ring down into the pit, and most everyone jumps in after it. Everyone fights to the death for the ring. Everyone in the family explodes.
Grace, Faith, and the sacrificial goat leave the estate.
Brian’s Commentary
This is a sequel to 2019’s “Ready or Not.” This one is full of familiar faces, much more so than the original. It did not, however, have the fun theme song this time around.
This was one of those sequels that didn’t really need to be made, but it was still fun.
Kevin’s Commentary
Grace can surely take a lot of punishment and damage in these movies. So can her sister. After getting beaten up and wounded as badly as they were, they walked off at the end just fine and dandy.
I went into this thinking we didn’t need a sequel and it was totally unnecessary. I changed my mind once it got going. I enjoyed it as much as the first one, if not more.
2025 Dolly
Directed by: Rod Blackhurst
Written by: Rod Blackhurst, Brandon Weavil
Stars: Fabianne Therese, Seann William Scott, Ethan Suplee, Max the Impaler
Run Time: 83 min
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
When a couple goes hiking, the young woman of the duo is abducted by a crazy masked killer who wants her to be her living doll baby. It was filmed in 16mm and has a 70s grainy look to it and a vibe of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” but is in the modern day with smartphones. The gore is visceral with realistic shots that will make you cringe. We both thought it was really good.
Spoilery Synopsis
As the credits roll, we see a house full of dolls and what appears to be a crazy woman tending to a corpse in a bed.
Chapter 1: Mother
A couple of parents drop off their daughter to the babysitter’s house so they can have a day alone where Chase can propose to Macy. Macy’s not sure about the whole thing since Chase has a daughter, Evy. As soon as they get to the woods for their hike, we cut to the crazy old woman, now dismembering that corpse. The old woman then holds a funeral for the dead person, with many dolls as witnesses.
Macy noticed that there are dolls nailed to the trees in the woods. They think that’s pretty weird. As they reach the overlook, they hear a weird music box playing in the woods, and Chase goes to check it out. He soon comes across the old woman, who wears a red dress suit and a doll-face mask– maybe it’s not an old woman, since “Dolly” picks up Chase and strangles him, cuts his leg off, and then does even worse things.
Chapter 2: Daughter
Macy gets tired of waiting and goes looking for Chase. She finds Dolly and the headless corpse before she finds Chase. She runs, falls, and is knocked out.
When she wakes up, Dolly is there, and Macy stabs Dolly with a tiny pocketknife. Dolly knocks her out again and takes her home to her place.
Chapter 3: Home
Macy wakes up in a tiny crib in a child’s room. She talks through the wall to a man she can’t see. He tells her to play along with the dolls. Dolly comes in and wants Macy to wear a diaper and suck on a pacifier.
Somehow, out in the woods, what’s left of Chase wakes up. He’s a real mess. He doesn’t get very far, but he’s still alive.
Dolly finally notices the pocketknife stuck in her side, pulls it out, and starts spurting blood. Macy uses the opportunity to try to escape. That doesn’t last long before Dolly decides it’s time for Macy’s feeding. Clearly, Dolly wants Macy as a baby doll. When Macy refuses to drink milk from a bottle, it all gets pretty weird.
Macy makes it down to the basement, where she finds a doll shrine, including the head of Dolly’s mother. Dolly finds Macy and rips her ear off. Dolly then sews it back on, which is even worse.
Chapter 4: Father
In the morning, Macy wakes up and steals a key from the sleeping Dolly. She opens the locked door where the man’s voice was coming from, and she soon finds him inside, all chained up. She unchains him and then very soon regrets it. They’re family. He grabs Macy, holds a piece of glass to her throat, and calls for Dolly. He needs Dolly to unlock the back door and let him out. As soon as Dolly unlocks the door, her father goes off on her with the shovel. Macy and Dolly work together to take care of him. He’s not gonna be getting back up again.
Macy hears Chase calling her name outside and jumps through a window.
Chapter 5: Reunion
Macy tells Chase that she found his ring and that she loves him, but they have to get away. Dolly shows up and makes Chase’s problems even worse. Macy and Dolly fight it out in the woods, and Dolly loses part of her mask.
Chapter 6: FIght
Macy hides in Dolly’s mother’s grave. She gets the shovel away from Dolly and makes good use of it, but stops beating too soon.
Chapter 7: Goodbye
The park ranger literally runs into Macy, “Are you OK?” “NO!”
He calls on the radio, “Guys, we got another one.” Dolly then comes out of the woods and kills him. Macy starts the ranger’s truck and runs over Dolly. She takes back her engagement ring, gets back in the truck, and drives away to freedom…
Brian’s Commentary
There are a couple of really cringey gore shots that were painful to watch.
After the opening scenes, there’s not much dialogue, which makes it all the more creepy.
It’s pretty intense, never slows down, and has lots of good bits to it. I liked this one!
Kevin’s Commentary
The 16mm grindhouse 70s vibe was an interesting mash-up with modern-day technology and smartphones. I also liked the division into chapters.
It kind of surprised me how quickly they killed Chase off. And then I was even more surprised that he wasn’t dead yet in the condition the psycho left him in.
I said “ouchie!” more than once with some of the painful-looking injuries that take place.
I thought it was really good.
2015 Muck
Directed by: Steve Wolsh
Written by: Steve Wolsh
Stars: Kane Hodder, Lachlan Buchanan, Bryce Draper, Lauren Francesca, Stephanie Danielson
Run Time: 1h 38m
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
The IMDB.com summary says “After narrowly escaping an ancient burial ground, a group of friends find themselves trapped between two evils, forcing them to fight, die, or go back the way they came.” The movie seems to start in the middle of a story, and we don’t really know what happened before. There’s much bad acting, strange choices made, random seeming editing, young women scantily dressed, and not a lot of story that’s explained or makes sense. Both of us agree this was phenomenally bad.
Spoilery Synopsis
A woman runs through the swamp, screaming for help. Her three friends soon catch up, but Billy’s been injured. They’re all freaked out, as some of their friends are dead. There’s an inordinate amount of screaming and arguing before they head toward the house they see. Credits roll as another girl is left out in the swamp alone.
The group breaks into the house and quickly settles in to warm up. Billy explains that they’re in a horror movie and how they’re all going to die. He predicts that Kylie is going to be the final girl since she’s wearing the most clothes. Noah decides to go for help, since the house doesn’t have a phone.
The group settles in. Desiree goes upstairs for a shower, and Kylie goes into the basement looking for a first-aid kit.
Noah makes it to town and stops in at the bar– it’s St. Patrick’s Day and everything is green. He goes to the restroom and washes up, then gets distracted by the women in the ladies’ room. He orders a couple of drinks for himself and the ladies, seemingly forgetting to call the police or any help for his friends.
Desiree takes her long, slow shower and then comes out just to get chopped up by a man with an axe.
Noah finally calls his friend Troit, telling him he’s in the town of West Craven. Troit and his hate-girlfriend Chandi go to rescue the group. We then take a time-out to watch one of the bar women change clothes in the restroom. They talk about West Craven a dozen times so we are sure to catch the reference.
Random stuff seems to happen. Noah runs down the street. Kylie gets tortured by bald cultists. Troit and his girlfriends stagger around the parking lot and talk about buying a boat. There’s an ad for Red Bull– it gives you wings. Something has grabbed Billy and Mia that we didn’t even see. Noah then plays hide and seek in a graveyard.
There’s no point in giving more of a synopsis, as none of this makes any damned sense at all. Kevin paid good money for this Blu-Ray, so I guess I have to finish it, but oh, is it ever bad. (At least, Kevin adds, it was a really good deal on the Blu-Ray.)
Brian’s Commentary
We never really find out what happened to the group before the movie started, but people have already died by that point, and the characters already know they’re in a horror movie. Who were these bald men, cultists or something? What was any of this for?
Well, that was truly awful. Not one of the “Actors” can act, which isn’t helped by the awful dialogue and pacing. It’s got lots of barely-dressed girls running around through most of the film, so there’s that if you’re into that sort of thing, but that’s probably the only reason anyone would watch this. Even the editing is noticeably terrible, with odd, half-second bits of blackness where the shots didn’t quite align in the editing room.
Worst of the month, easily. It’s far from the worst I’ve ever seen, but it’s probably in the top twenty.
Kevin’s Commentary
The very beginning had me wondering if we’d started in the middle of the movie by mistake. After the credits roll, we realize they did that on purpose. This was intended to be the second movie of a trilogy, making the second movie first for some reason. It’s been eleven years, so that plan is doubtful.
Apparently, despite having been attacked, some people missing, one guy badly injured, it doesn’t occur to the characters to call 911. Just one of many strange and bad choices made. But don’t think about that too much, look, here’s another young woman strutting or running about scantily dressed or topless. And then, for some reason bald pale attacker guys show up. Stuff happens, and then it ends abruptly, unfinished and waiting for the third in the trilogy.
It wasn’t available for streaming, and I wanted to see it, so I picked up a cheap Blu-ray copy. That seemed like a good idea at the time. I was intensely disappointed.
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