This week, we’ll continue our marathon of all-new films. We’ll start with the newest “Salem’s Lot” remake and then continue on with more vamps in “The Radleys.” We’ll check in on a cool Bigfoot massacre with “Feet of Death,” then experience a couple of really weird ones, “Cuckoo” and “The Blue Rose.”
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Mainstream Films:
Salem’s Lot (2024)
Directed by Gary Dauberman
Written by Stephen King, Gary Dauberman
Stars Lewis Pullman, Mackenzie Leigh, Jordan Preston Carter
Run Time: 1 Hour, 53 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
This was good, and true to the basics of the original story. It felt rushed though, with characters not getting fleshed out enough and leaping to conclusions too fast. It still entertained, but it felt abridged and would have been better if it was fleshed out more and longer.
Spoilery Synopsis
We see shipping receipts and photos of large wooden boxes as credits roll. The trail of death leads to Jerusalem’s Lot, a town in Maine. We read about Barlow & Straker, a new antique store that is opening in town.
Mr. Straker gives instructions to Mr. Snow about picking up a huge, valuable crate from the docks tonight. The old Marsden house is said to be haunted, and that’s where Staker wants the crate delivered. Snow and Hank unload the crate; Hank drops his end, which breaks the box open– it’s full of dirt. The moment they leave, the crate opens…
Ben Mears used to live in the area, and he’s come back for a visit; he’s an author, and the sheriff warns him not to cause any trouble. He walks through the town of Salem’s Lot and it’s all very quaint and retro.
Ben goes to a realtor looking for a place to rent, and Susan and Larry say they will find him a place. Larry mentions that Straker, some kind of European, bought the old Marsden house. She’s reading Ben’s book but doesn’t recognize him. When the landlady finds out he’s a writer, she wants payment in advance.
We cut to the schoolyard, where Ritchie the bully picks on a new kid, Mark, but the new kid isn’t putting up with it. Young Danny and his brother Ralph are impressed with Mark’s courage.
Susan, her mother, and the librarian talk about Ben Mears and the death of his parents. Susan’s not subtle about telling Ben where to meet her later. She does, in fact, find him at the drive-in theater.
On the way home from Mark’s house, Danny and Ralph meet Mr. Staker, who is creepy. It gets dark, but the boys continue walking the shortcut through the woods. Ralph silently disappears. Straker drags Ralph home for a sacrifice to The Master. Barlow arrives on the scene, and he eats messily.
Morning comes, and the sheriff lets Father Callahan out of the drunk tank. He suggests the father go see the Glicks– little Ralphie didn’t come home last night.
One week later, Ben is part of a search party, but Ralph still isn’t showing up. One guy, Floyd, already hates Ben. Matt Burke, the schoolteacher, likes Ben’s books. Most of the locals suspect Ben was involved in the disappearance, but he has a perfect alibi, being with Susan.
At night, Danny Glick goes outside and calls for his lost brother. Something grabs him, and before long, he’s sick with anemia. He wakes up later and drinks all the blood in his blood bag; he dies right afterward. After the funeral, Mike the gravedigger hears knocking coming from the coffin. He opens the coffin, but the kid is still dead. When he turns his back, the body is gone; then Danny bites him.
Matt Burke goes to the bar and sees Mike, who looks really sick. He doesn’t remember much after the funeral. He invites Mike to spend the night at his house, and he wonders about the bite marks on Mike’s neck. Matt goes to see Ben and Susan; wants to borrow a cross. Matt tells them that Mike is a vampire, and they find that a little crazy, but they don’t argue. When they go into Mike’s room, they find Mike in there, dead. There are no marks on his neck. Dr. Cody holds off on her opinion, but she sees Matt carrying a big wooden cross.
Young Mark wakes up in the middle of the night to find Danny floating outside his bedroom window– on the second floor. Danny hypnotizes Mark and makes him open the window. Mark picks up a cross and burns Danny till he leaves. He then reads about the rules for vampires in comic books. “I gotta kill Barlow!”
Meanwhile, Matt’s cross glows and lights up the room. Mike attacks him, clearly a vampire now. Matt revokes his invitation, and Mike gets sucked out the window. The doctor wonders what happened to Mike’s body and goes back to Matt’s house.
Ben tells Dr. Cody, Ben, and Susan all about vampires. Dr. Cody, at least, shows some doubt. Ralph and Danny’s mother was killed last night in the same way, and Cody wants to see what happens to her when night falls.
Meanwhile, Mark goes up to Straker and Barlow’s house and checks out their basement. Ben’s already there. Straker locks them inside. Barlow gets Matt, but someone grabs Mark from behind.
At the morgue, Danny’s mother starts to wake up, not completely dead after all. Cody, Ben, and Sue make crosses out of tongue depressors. They’re very slow, and the doctor is bitten, but they beat the vampire. Cody takes a rabies vaccine shot, which she hopes will work and does seem to.
Ben and the others go to Matt’s house and see vampires on the roof; afterward, they go see Father Callahan, the priest. At the vampire house, Mark kills Straker with a fireplace poker and runs off. Mark comes in and tells them what he knows about Matt and Straker. The whole group heads to Barlow’s house. Straker is killed by vampire Matt learns about sunlight and staking.
Everyone splits up to rush to the church before the sun sets. Dr. Cody goes to the sheriff, and he seems to know all about Barlow and the vampires; he’s leaving town. Susan goes to her mother, and she’s been charmed by Barlow, and Susan ends up bitten. Mark and the Father try to convince Mark’s parent’s, which takes longer than it should. Mark soon loses both parents and the priest. Mark hides in his treehouse, which is swarmed by vampire minions.
Ben carries Susan to the church where Dr. Cody says it’s too late. Susan goes full vamp and runs away.
In the morning, the town is deserted, as everyone by our heroes have been converted. Ben finds a note that Mark intends to kill Barlow. Mark runs into Danny, and Danny runs right into a stake. Somehow, Ben figures out that everyone in town drove their cars to the drive-in theater and hid in the trunks of their cars (why???). As Cody is about to stake Susan, Susan’s mother shoots her; she’s the new Renfield-minion. Meanwhile, the sun is going down and the trunks are opening, one by one, in the shade of the big screen.
Mark starts a car and knocks all the support pylons out from under the drive-in screen, knocking it over and killing a whole bunch of vampires by exposing them to sunlight. Mark then runs over Susan’s mother just because it’s satisfying, and she totally had it coming. They wonder where Barlow’s coffin might be, and they soon find it, right there at the drive-in in a bigger vehicle. They open the coffin just as the sun sets.
Night falls, Barlow gets up, and Susan attacks Ben. Barlow chases Mark around the parking lot and under the collapsed screen. Ben stakes Susan and then catches up to finish off Barlow.
Mark and ten-year-old Ben get in the car and leave town, which no one is going to find creepy later...
Brian’s Commentary
It’s hard not to compare this with the original miniseries, which had nearly double the run-time. There’s also a 2004 miniseries remake, which we have not seen yet.
Matt is awfully quick to jump to the conclusion that it must be vampires, and Ben and Susan go right along with him with far too little skepticism. There’s simply not enough time for it here. It is very rushed, a very stripped-down version of the story with a much more action-packed finale.
If a plastic model of a cross and a wooden cross grow brightly in the presence of vampires that would easily remove all doubt in the supernatural. It’s too easy. If the minions keep telling their not-quite-victims about Barlow, well, that seems like a security risk for the vampire. How did the sheriff know all about Barlow?
It looks good, has decent special effects, and the acting we get is fine, but it is too short for the material. There’s not much to any of the characters, and it’s all over too quickly.
Kevin’s Commentary
This was an okay adaptation with some cool moments. But it was too abbreviated and rushed, it felt kind of chopped and jumpy, moving too fast without enough character depth. I thought the original miniseries was superior, and I’d recommend going with that one instead.
The Radleys (2024)
Directed by Europs Lyn
Written by Talitha Stevenson, Jo Brand, Matt Haig
Stars Kelly Madonald, Damian Lewis, Sophia Di Martino
Run Time: 1 Hour, 55 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
Someone used their imagination to say, what if we made a vampire story but made it so sunlight didn’t harm them. Damian Lewis was very good in the duel role, as was the rest of the cast. It’s billed as a horror comedy, and there certainly are some chuckles, but it’s heavier on the horror and grim elements with a hefty dose of family drama. We both thought it was very good, with Kevin putting it way up there in his approval.
Spoilery Synopsis
We open on a dog eating a rabbit. We cut to the suburbs, where the dog runs home. Rowan Radley introduces himself, his mother, Helen, and his vegan sister Clara to us. He admits that he’s a freak. It even says so on the side of his backpack. It’s Clara’s eighteenth birthday party, and she’s acting weird, looking pale and sickly. Family friend Lorna brings an extravagant dish for the party. Husband Peter is still inside shaving. Peter and Lorna make eyes through the window; yeah, she’s very interested in him.
Evan is the new boy in town, and Clara and her friend Tilly like him; Rowan likes him more. The four go for a hike up to the ruins, where there’s another party in progress. When Tilly and Evan start kissing, Rowan wanders off and sulks. All of this is being watched by Jared, their nosy neighbor, and Evan’s dad, who has followed them.
Obnoxious Stuart likes Clara and offers to walk her home through the woods. She… pukes on his shoes, and then he wants her to “make it up to me” as he starts to unbuckle his pants. She starts to run, and he gets all rapey. She tries to fight him off normally, but when that becomes impossible, she hurls him away with a burst of super strength, then sprouts fangs and bites him in the neck. Yep– she’s a vampire, and no longer a vegan.
Clara calls her parents, who are able to track her down in the woods by scent alone. They all work together to haul away the body where they stash in the back of the car. When Rowan hears about it, he has no idea what’s going on– neither did Clara. “Are we adopted?” Asks Rowan. Helen and Peter decide that it’s time for “The Talk,” and no, they don’t discuss sex. The whole family are vampires. “We’re in recovery. We’re what’s known as abstainers.” They regret not telling the kids sooner. When Clara went vegan, it made her compulsion worse so it took her over.
Peter, who is a doctor, explains the rules of vampires to Rowan. Mirrors and daylight aren’t a problem; they lose some powers, such as mind control, if they don’t keep up eating human blood. There’s a whole website and chat forum devoted to their kind, an app too that Peter dismisses as pretty bad. Peter calls his brother, Will, later that night; he wants help with the kids and cleaning up the dead boy.
The next morning, Clara isn’t nearly as pale and sickly, and she seems a lot happier. Though she is irked at the parents for not telling them about what they were sooner. Will shows up, driving a huge RV, and he’s a bit of a jerk. Helen seems to barely tolerate Will, but they do need his help. It’s a “thing” for abstainers to avoid all active vampires, so they’ve never even told the kids that they have an uncle.
Will isn’t an abstainer, and he talks to Rowan about how wonderful his side of the argument is. Later, he’s the one who cuts up Stuart’s body and disposes of the evidence.
Evan tells Clara about his father, who used to be a policeman. Jared has become obsessed with vampires, and he seems to think they’re everywhere after Evan’s mother disappeared. Evan knows that Clara has given up her veganism.
Will talks to Helen about the good old days and how she’s changed. Rowan talks to Evan about how he feels, and Evan likes how he thinks. We cut to Jared, who’s putting together a “crazy wall” about Stuart’s case.
Lorna comes to see Peter at work, and they “play doctor.” He withdraws three vials of blood from her, licking his lips the entire time. The police come to question Clara, and she’s not good at being interrogated. Helen begs Will to use his mind control on the two cops. Clara is really impressed with Will’s abilities when he easily convinces the cops that Clara had nothing to do with Stuart’s disappearance.
Will takes Rowan to the local casino, where Rowan has a good time; Will uses mind control to cheat at cards and have a fun with human partiers. Rowan is also very impressed.
At home, Peter can’t help himself, and he gives in by drinking Lorna’s blood samples. When he wants to get frisky with Helen, he denies having drank blood.
Rowan sneaks some blood from a bottle in Will’s fridge the next morning– one bottle after another. He calls the 24-hour helpline from the website and asks about turning a human into a vampire. Will mentions that he’s the one who converted Helen; this is why she can’t be as close to Peter as she’d like. Will knows Peter’s been tasting blood, and he gloats about it.
Evan finds Jared’s crazy wall of Radley vampire connections. Jared knows that Clara killed Stuart, but Evan thinks his father has gone insane. Rowan tells Evan that he loves him, and Evan is very agreeable. How much of that is Evan’s real feelings and how much is mind control influence?
Peter has always thought he’s the one who converted Helen. He knows that Helen doesn’t really desire him. She tells him that she faked it when he bit her; Will actually bit her first.
Evan and Rowan go to the arcade as a date that evening, and Rowan struggles to control himself from biting Evan. He drops his bottle of blood on the floor in the bathroom and runs off.
Will catches up with Evan and bites him at the arcade; Evan calls Jared who rushes right there to help his son. Meanwhile, Will and Rowan fight over what Will has done. Clara sees this and gets her parents to help. Peter and Will fight, and argue about who bit Helen first. Helen ends up staking Will with a “For Sale” sign.
Jared calls the vampire helpline and begs for help saving his son. The operator reluctantly reveals that the only way to save Evan is to give him vampire blood. He drives to the Radley’s house and pleads with them. Evan realizes that his crazy father was right all along. Rowan gives Evan some of his own blood, and Evan wakes right up.
The family gets together and burns Will’s body. Rowan and Evan are a couple now. Peter and Helen make up. At the end they drive away in Will’s RV camper.
Brian’s Commentary
We see early on that really, no one here is happy except for Will, who knows and accepts exactly what he is. As the story progressed, we pretty much knew how it was going to go, just not with specifics.
Damien Lewis as both Peter and Will is really good here, as are both the children’s actors.
There aren’t a lot of surprises here, but we both thought it was really good.
Kevin’s Commentary
Somehow, I managed to go into this completely blind, not seeing so much as the poster, synopsis, or a preview. It didn’t take me long to figure out they were vampires. It was interesting taking away the weakness of sunlight and mandatory daytime sleeping while keeping many of the other tropes. That opened up what they could do with the story. I thought it was great.
Feet of Death (2024)
Directed by James Chick
Written by Ashley Chick, James Chick, Ryan Stahl
Stars Andrew Jacob Brown, Jack Vanover, Benjamin Watts
Run Time: 1 hour 46 minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
Like the real Bigfoot, sightings of the creature are scant in this movie. But it’s got a good cast, an interesting script, and excellent cinematography in a beautiful setting. We thought it was a lot of fun in a horror movie kind of way.
Spoilery Synopsis
We open on a hiker in the woods. She comes to a specific spot and finds a man’s body, torn open by a wild animal. Credits roll.
We cut to Chris Dixon, who runs a YouTube channel where he investigates unexplained murders. He’s in the Pacific Northwest, investigating one series of ten strange murders. He shows us a map of the crimes along with Bigfoot sightings; could they be linked?
Al wakes up Jason, who’s drunk again. There’s been another attack. They’re both in the U.S. Forest Service, and it’s up to Jason to deal with it. Jason’s not over having his wife mauled by a bear, so he’s not excited to check out this attack. Al is a good boss, and he’s sending Jason out there as a sort of therapy.
Chris interviews Evan, a local girl in a store, but she doesn’t know anything. “Some of the attacks were from cougars, and some of them were from black bears,” is all she can say. “Bigfoot is kinda our town mascot. No one in our town actually believes Bigfoot exists, and if he did, he wouldn’t go around killing people. Sounds like a bad horror movie to me.” Henry, a man in the parking lot, does think it’s Bigfoot.
The sheriff, Ken Clark, is investigating the dead body in the woods when Jason arrives. It could be a bear attack, but the claw marks don’t look quite right. Mary is the girl who found the body, and she’s still there, a nature photographer.
Chris records a video explaining more of the situation and one of the previous deaths. He manages to scare himself at night.
We cut back to Jason, who hears about Chris being killed by a bear in the woods; he’s the body they found earlier. He argues with Ken about getting a coroner’s report on the body, but Clark isn’t cooperative. When he looks at crime scene photos, he spots one of Chris’s trail cameras.
Chris, on video, explains that Bigfoot is smart enough to mimic other animals when he attacks people, which is why it always looks like a bear or cougar attack. Chris sets up his tent and trail cams.
Jason gets a call from Ken Clark; they’ve arrested Mary, who, it turns out, has been stalking Chris for months. Chris was working on getting a restraining order against her. In the interrogation room, it becomes obvious to Jason that she’s a little looney, but probably not the killer. Ken, on the other hand, just wants to arrest her for murder.
Jason watches the video from the trail cam and takes it to Ken. It clearly shows Bigfoot killing Chris. We then see the attack from Chris’s point of view, and we watch as Bigfoot steals Chris’s other camera. Jason doesn’t think it was Bigfoot, but Ken is right on board with the cryptid explanation. The two go to talk to Henry, one of the people Chris interviewed earlier– and a self-proclaimed Bigfoot expert. Henry shows them a tape from back in ‘86, and it’s what convinced him that Bigfoot is real. Jason says it looks like all the other fake Bigfoot videos.
The two go to the coroner’s office, and she says it doesn’t look like a black bear attacked Chris. She found Mary’s DNA on Chris’s lips; she kissed the body after he was dead. She also found moose hairs in the wound, but there aren’t any moose around there.
Ken gets a bunch of guys together, they have three days to search the woods and local lava tubes. Jason has it all very well planned and organized, and the group splits up to search. Jason and Al work together on this one and they talk about their dead wives. There are a lot of caves, so the two split up.
After a lot of cave exploring, Jason comes out of his cave, but Al never shows up. The sound from the radios makes it fairly easy for Jason to track where Al’s radio is. Jason finds Al’s radio, covered in blood. Jason calls Ken, who wants him to return to the station and regroup. It’s getting dark, so Jason has no real choice.
Jason and Ken go back to Henry’s place for more information. He’s not home, so they look around. Inside a shed, they find a map and… a Bigfoot costume. Henry locks them inside the shed. They get out, but Henry chloroforms Jason and shoots Ken.
Jason awakens tied up in a cave with “Bigfoot” in front of him. Henry takes off the mask and laughs. There’s roaring coming from the lower caves. It turns out that Henry has found a real Bigfoot– a whole family of them. Jason asks Henry if Henry killed his wife, and he admits it. Jason watches as Ken’s body gets dragged away.
Jason gets out of the rope and makes a run for it through the woods, with Bigfoot right on his heels. There’s a bit of cat-and-mouse in the woods as Bigfoot hunts him, but with the help of Al’s backpack, Jason improvises an explosive which disables the creature. Before Jason can finish off Bigfoot, Henry attacks from behind, and the two men fight. Jason beats Henry, but then Bigfoot confronts both of them. It ends poorly for Jason with a crunchy looking throw against a tree.
Henry leaves his cabin in the morning and reads about Ken and Jason, who are still missing…
Brian’s Commentary
It’s very low budget, and the Bigfoot looks really cheesy. Still, the characters and actors are engaging and interesting, and as the investigation expands, we are drawn right in. The scenic locations help a lot too; wherever this was filmed was very cool.
I thought it was very creative, had a few twists, and was overall fun. There’s not a lot of “creature” here, but what we get is good.
Kevin’s Commentary
This wasn’t what I expected, and that’s a good thing. Andrew Jacob Brown was great in the lead, and it was a fine movie around him. I was thoroughly entertained.
Cuckoo (2024)
Directed by Tilman Singer
Written by Tilman Singer
Stars Hunter Schafer, Jan Bluhardt, Marton Csokas
Run Time: 1 Hour, 42 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
This is very strange and well done. It goes so long keeping us interested and baffled, then the ending mostly explains things and wraps up. Dan Stevens stands out as whacko here, but the whole cast is good. We really liked it.
Spoilery Synopsis
We open on a screaming fight between two people downstairs as a younger girl listens from upstairs. She runs off into the woods to get away from her parents. The man inside gets a very strange call about his “adolescent” going missing. Credits roll.
We cut to the Bavarian Alps. Herr King welcomes Gretchen and her odd family, Beth, Alma, and Luis. Most of them don’t speak German, and Alma doesn’t speak at all, which is inconvenient. The neighbor, Dr. Bonomo, introduces herself. Konig is all touchy and creepy, and he offers to let Gretchen work at his new resort. Her father is against the idea, but Gretchen wants to make money to fly home, so she accepts.
At her new job, Gretchen isn’t particularly interested, and her co-worker is weird. Gretchen watches as Alma has some kind of seizure that gets odd. Beatrix, the coworker, leaves Gretchen in charge and goes on a date. An odd woman named Ed comes in to rent a room and flirts with Gretchen. As they talk, an even stranger woman in a robe comes in and pukes all over. Konig calls and tells her to lock all the doors right now. For some reason, he does not want her to ride home on her bike, but she does anyway.
Konig shows up at the resort and starts playing a flute. Meanwhile, someone is chasing Gretchen on foot and keeping up pretty well. The strange woman chases her until she goes into an emergency room. The police think she’s been pranked. Her family is already there; Alma had another seizure. Dr. Bonomo is there, and she says she’ll get to the bottom of it. It might be due to Gretchen moving in with them.
A police detective comes to see Gretchen at work the next morning. Ed stops in to check out of her room and they soon end up checking out each other. Gretchen then clears out the register and the two go on a road trip to Paris. For the second time, we get a strange time-slip where things repeat themselves.
Then the car crashes. The crazy woman from the night before yanks Ed out of the car and throws her far away. Before she can reach Gretchen, we hear gunshots. Gretchen then wakes up in the hospital. Konig is there, and he warns her to stay home, and mentions her being stuck in a loop. Gretchen wants her father to stay in the room and watch out for the woman, but he clearly favors Alma. No one is particularly sympathetic to her since she stole money and ran away.
The detective returns, and says he saw the woman; he’s the one who got Grtechen out of the car, and he says she’s come after Gretchen again. He swears her to secrecy about his investigation. The pair stake out one of the bungalows at the resort, where Beatrix and her boyfriend, Erik, are doing something they shouldn’t be. The weird time warping begins again, and that crazy woman shows up. Detective Lando shoots at her, but she escapes.
Gretchen seems to think Konig is in on the conspiracy and confronts him about why they are here. “You are here because your family belongs here.” Gretchen gets a box of stuff from her mother’s estate. Yes, her mother has died, which is why she’s here. There’s an answering machine that has all Gretchen’s phone messages on it, along with one from Alma’s voice synthesizer; maybe she’s not so bad after all.
Konig offers to give Gretchen money and drive her to the station, but first she needs to write a note for her family. They talk about cuckoos, since he has a picture of one in his car. When they get to his house, he has the detective tied up and tortured. He’s not a policeman anymore, since he was investigating a case he was personally involved in. Then Konig sedates Gretchen.
Meanwhile, at the hospital, Luis and Beth watch as Dr. Bonomo does many tests on Alma’s brain.
When she wakes up, she sees the crazy woman approaching her open door, and time starts pulsing again. He talks about an ancient creature that he’s been keeping alive. Suddenly, Lando breaks in and shoots Konig and the crazy woman. At the same time, Beth, back at the hospital, also has a seizure.
“I think they impregnate women at the resort,” Lando explains. He also explains about cuckoos, which lay eggs and then let other birds raise their offspring. Suddenly, Gretchen vomits all over; she’s been impregnated as well. He learns that Luis and Beth spent their honeymoon here– Alma is one of the creatures.
At the hospital, Dr. Bonomo knows all about it, and she’s been studying the creatures. “Brood parasites implant eggs,” Lando tells Gretchen. Konig interrupts the experiment; he’s obviously not dead. He kills Bonomo and her assistant. Lando turns on Gretchen and she stabs him pretty badly.
Gretchen wakes up Alma to break her out of the hospital. The original crazy woman with the red eyes approaches Alma, and Gretchen holds her at bay. The hooded woman chases Gretchen around a storeroom, and her sonic scream can only be blocked by headphones. Lando staggers in, not dead, and trades gunfire with Konig.
Gretchen lets the screaming hooded woman come close, and then stabs her in the neck. Konig explains Gretchen’s place in the experiment, but she demonstrates that she’s killed the mother.
Gretchen and Alma have a silent conversation, and they’re friends now. Gretchen, Alma, Lando, and Konig argue about what Alma is and how she’ll grow up. Alma puts her hands over Gretchen’s ears and then she does the scream, which allows them to escape the two men. They run into Ed in the parking lot, and she drives them away…
Brian’s Commentary
Dan Stevens is always great, and he’s at his “peak freak” here. This story is crazy; I had absolutely no idea what was going on well into it. It’s not surreal or disjointed, it’s just completely unpredictable and offbeat, which I really liked. We mostly learn what’s actually going on about a half-hour before the end, and by that time, we were hooked.
This one is just crazy weird. Liked it!
Kevin’s Commentary
I thought it was a great script and well executed. It took such a long time to explain things, but it was worth the wait. I was entertained getting there. Like Brian said, it’s crazy weird.
The Blue Rose (2024)
Directed by George Baron
Written by George Baron
Stars Olivia Scott Welch, George Baron, Danielle Bisutti, Ray Wise
Run Time: 1 Hour, 43 Minutes
Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
Every step of this was hyper-retro, strange, brightly colored, noir, and dream-like. There is a story there that gets a little muddled in the weirdness, especially in the final act. George Baron, only in his late teens, carries the load as writer, director, and lead actor, which in total is pretty impressive. We thought it was visually cool and at least interesting throughout. It’s a moderate thumbs up from us.
Spoilery Synopsis
After some very non-horrific credits, we open on a woman on stage putting dirt in a flower pot. She waters the pot with blood and a blue rose grows instantly.
We cut to a woman in the 50s baking pies for all her neighbors and her husband. As a sort of dance without dialogue, her relationship is unhappy. Then the husband beats her up, so she cuts him up like a pie. Sophie then goes to a party and brings pie.
Detectives Lilly and Dalton are assigned to solve a homicide. Sophie’s husband has been murdered, cut up like a pie, that happened in the opening scene. Sophie is missing, presumed kidnapped. At the murder house, they find blue roses growing in the front yard. No, they’re white roses with paint on them.
Sophie’s sister, Norma, is very rich and very famous, so they go visit her. Norma offers them tea and cookies, and servant Kiyo brings them. Norma tells the story of how Sophie killed and dismembered her pet cockatiel. And what she did to the piano teacher– but we don’t hear that story. On the way out, Kiyo slips Dalton a note: “Help Me!”
Mr. Vallens, the chief of detectives, chews out the two detectives for not rescuing Kiyo. Dalton complains that they aren’t allowed to carry guns. And they have a pink convertible instead of a proper police car. Vallens is Dalton’s father, and they clearly don’t get along.
We cut to a lounge singer, singing to an audience where everyone wears masks. The detectives show up and talk about Catherine, the singer. Lilly is enthralled with Catherine until her eyes bleed, but Dalton just wants to question her. This soon results in a car chase, but Catherine drops a diamond out the window which punctures Lilly’s tire. Suddenly, they are approached by a bed rolling down the street. A strange bald woman with glowing eyes floats out of the bed, and the two detectives drive away to escape.
Back at Norma’s house, Norma confronts Kiyo about her note and then poisons her. Dalton and Lilly go to Catherine’s hotel; she had been having an affair with Harold, the dead man. They all go back to her room and drink lots of champagne with cake. They talk interminably, but then end up doing tarot cards for some reason. How is this scene going to end? Suddenly, men in rabbit gas masks break down the door, drop a gas bomb in the room, and carry them all away.
We cut to a dream sequence with Norma and Sophie painting a blue triangle. Catherine drinks milk as Dalton has seizures. Lilly relives her mother’s suicide, but this time, Sophie helps. Things get weird in the dream, with all the characters changing places. Norma and Sophie painfully dismember a bird before chasing Lilly around the house with a knife. Dalton dreams of a domestic life with an incessantly crying baby. They both finally die in their dreams.
The two detectives wake up outside a mental hospital. Kiyo is there, and she tries to lead Lilly outside. It’s still all very dreamy and surreal. Sophie says they’re in Purgatory. Meanwhile Dalton is in a cell conversing with a female version of himself. Lilly tells Sophie that they are in the real world, and that it was Norma who made Sophie a killer. Sophie flips out and stabs Lilly a thousand times.
We wrap up with Catherine on stage singing. No wait, that’s not Catherine, it’s Dalton in drag.
Brian’s Commentary
I mentally alternated throughout the entire film between “this is neat” and “this is dreck.” It is a very uneven film.
I said in the very first scene that the director was trying to “do David Lynch,” but I had no idea how right I could be. It’s so “Twin Peaks-y” that they even hired Ray Wise for a part. There are references here to “Blue Velvet,” “Mulholland Drive,” and even “Eraserhead.” It’s beyond homage and well into copycat territory, at least visually.
It is a very visual, very good-looking film, with lots of colors and things to see. It’s very obviously not a low-budget film, or at least it doesn’t give that impression. It’s full of unusual, weird characters.
From the first scene with the two detectives, I was already complaining about their acting and weird line delivery. Before long, it became clear that everyone was acting that stiffly, so it must have been a directorial choice for weirdness’ sake. The whole thing is a sort of send-up or parody of detective movies.
It’s written, directed, and stars George Baron. He has some good ideas, but he really needed someone to reign him in a bit… or a lot.
It started out OK, but there’s just too much weirdness and dream-stuff in the middle. Most of the story makes no real sense at all and the actual plot sorta vanishes halfway in. The best part of the film was when it finally ended. I love David Lynch films, but this was too much, for too long.
Kevin’s Commentary
It was almost too strange at some points, but overall I enjoyed it. The story itself is a little thin, but the visuals more than made up for it. I’ve seen reviews that criticize the acting, but I got the impression that it was deliberate. Nothing about it is quite natural, and it’s consistent throughout. I enjoyed it right up to the ending that made me scratch my head a bit. It will be interesting to see what young George Baron comes up with in the future.
Short Films:
Short Film: Gummy (2024)
Directed by Sasha Aubort
Written by Sasha Aubort
Stars Tegan Braithwaite, Dirk Hunter, Lola Bond
Run Time: 13:05
Watch it:
What Happens
A woman watches a movie and plays with her teeth while she watches.
We cut to the dental school, where Prudence is a student. Her father calls in the middle of practicing; he’s bossy and manipulative. “My dad’s a bit weird,” she explains to her friend.
It's very awkward when the friend comes over for dinner, as she’s sitting in Dad’s chair. They insist she wears a bib for her soup; there is a great deal of slurping. Prudence is obsessed with her teeth, and her father is even weirder, which soon becomes apparent. After her friend storms out, Prudence pulls out one of her own teeth.
Commentary
Well, that was fun…?
Insanity, abuse, body horror, family drama… what more could you want for 13 minutes?
It’s sharp, looks good, and is very, very weird. It’s about abuse… I think, but there’s also a lot more going on here. It’s certainly going to be the weirdest short of the week!
Short Film: Norma (2024)
Directed by John Draekul
Written by Maurice Winsell
Stars Brittany Myra Smith, Maurice Winsell
Run Time: 4:50
Watch it:
What Happens
Tony wakes up tied to a bed. A woman says she thought she had accidentally killed him. He doesn’t know who she is until she speaks. We get a flashback to her being a telemarketer and him not being interested. He got excessively rude and hung up on her.
Now, tied to the bed, Norma makes Tony learn that he just wasn’t raised right. But maybe she can fix that…
Commentary
Well, that got serious quickly. Does it make me want to talk to telemarketers?
No, I’ll take my chances.
It’s short, but it’s clear what’s going on, it looks good, the acting is fine, and it’s a more-or-less believable situation. Nice!
Short Film: Hush (2024)
Directed by CJ Scott
Written by CJ Scott
Stars Justace Kataryne, Addison Roden, Zak Vangalder
Run Time: 12:53
Watch it:
What Happens
Al gives Amanda some extra hours at the library, restocking books in the basement. “Call me first if anything happens; we wouldn’t want to get the cops involved.” Al is very flirty, but Amanda doesn’t bite. She soon gets to work shelving and sorting books. Suddenly, she meets Nicole, a strange, purple-haired goth woman who seems very protective of her workspace.
After a while, a book falls off the shelf on its own– twice. Could there be a ghost in the library basement? Nicole is mean at first, but after a bit, the two become friends.
Commentary
This was filmed entirely at the Amarillo Library, which is interesting. It’s very bright and clear, which is a nice change to a lot of other horror films. Even when the lights go out, they find a creative way for us to see the action.
The ending wasn’t really a big surprise, but this one could have used some more explanation. Why is Nicole there? Is she protecting Amanda? From what?
Short Film: Death and the Lady: When the Grim Reaper Knocks (2023)
Directed by Geoff Bailey, Lucy York Struever
Written by Lucy York Struever, Geoff Bailey
Stars Animated
Run Time: 8:11
Watch it:
What Happens
An old woman sits and knits as her cats and dog sit by the fire. She puts on a record and gets back to work. Jackson, the old dog, starts howling– at the music? No, there’s a knock at the door.
The old woman opens the door, and outside is Death, dripping wet from the rain outside. She invites him in and offers him tea. The dog barks at the scary visitor, but the old lady is very friendly. The dog seems to know what’s going on, but the woman is oblivious.
How is this going to end?
Commentary
The animation here is excellent. The dog knows what’s up; the cats don’t care. Still, sometimes not everything is as it seems– it’s worse. I did not see that coming!
Short Film: The Mirror (2024)
By Hamridreza Haidan, Ramin Abdollah
Run Time: 3:27
Watch it:
What Happens
A man finds a locked cabinet, but when he opens it, he finds a filthy old antique mirror inside. He cleans it up and it doesn’t look so bad anymore.
When he looks into the mirror, he notices a smudge on the glass. He also sees that he’s cut himself on the forehead. He patches himself up but then sees more marks on the mirror– and suddenly wounds on his hands.
How far will this go?
Commentary
You’d think he would have simply gotten rid of the mirror or put it back in the locked storage place. No, that would be too easy. It’s a story about a cursed object– we don’t know why, but we don’t really need to know. It’s just interesting seeing how the mirror does its thing.
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Salem’s Lot, Cuckoo, The Radleys, Feet of Death, and The Blue Rose